u/Cool-Row-1255

Of course my in laws and SIL all wish me Happy Mother’s Day today in rapid succession - each one hour after the next. It’s nice, but I don’t trust them at all at this point. I’m sure they have a motive and are just reaching out because I haven’t responded to the previous one, nor has my husband wished his mom a Happy Mother’s Day. I’ve had a rough day physically after recently giving birth and I am so over them all. Seeing the comments on my last post also solidified my boundaries and wherewithal to not have them involved in our lives.

I can’t explain the guilt I feel as a major people pleaser and someone who has dealt with a lot of shit family members already, but something inside of me just wants nothing to do with them anymore. They have somehow managed to try to ruin every newborn experience we have had. It’s also painfully obvious that all they want is an invite. They will not be pleased because my husband and I already decided no one will ever stay with us again.

They would have to stay at a hotel and I know they would make a stink about it because we have a room downstairs they “could” use. 

I feel so uncomfortable because I wish things were different. I’d love to have a great relationship with my in laws, and I’d love for my kids to as well. However, I’ve been hurt countless times and I just can’t abandon myself any longer. It’s not fair to me to treat myself like a birthing vessel because all they care about is how I’ve given them grandchildren to carry on the family name. It’s so painfully obvious. I can tell when someone isn’t genuine and it stinks. I almost wish I could find a reason that I’m not right about this because it really hurts. My family kind of sucks so it hurts even more because I expected more from them.

I’m so pissed off. I just had a baby, and haven’t been in contact with my MIL for a very long time. Only yesterday does she reach out to me (no congrats nothing) just asking if we are back from the hospital etc. My husband is a terrible communicator and I found out she had texted him and he hadn’t gotten back to her, so she had probably just thought to text me.

I responded nicely and with pics of the baby because I thought why not? And then she had asked if we needed anything and I said meals. She says she can’t provide those from far away. I said we have had people send them to us… like obviously. Why offer if you won’t actually give anything? Now I’m just enraged. I feel used and like an idiot for thinking this awful bitch would actually be a decent person.

Also I’m struggling with do I just let this go and truly cut this woman out of my life for good? It seems to be great when that’s the case, or do I let my husband handle and text her about it? I don’t want it to look like she can use me to get to him, but he also needs to stand up for me and show we are a united front and that we are both in on wanting meals for support if she offered… let me know thoughts.

We had our baby a few days ago. This is just one example of how he’s driving me crazy with his super annoying sense of humor, for example. He has a friend through his video gaming community who commented on our baby picture: “wow he’s so ugly! His head is misshapen!”

I immediately told my husband that was rude and disturbing, and he said oh that’s guy banter… I was like no I don’t think so… and he’s like you haven’t been around enough guys??!

I really disagree with him and I understand a little now why his humor sucks (to me). It’s always off and I feel like a lot of the people IRL don’t find it funny whatsoever. It embarrasses me a lot and I make it known how I am not amused or give it no attention but he continues to do it.

It’s driving me crazy and I don’t think I’m overreacting. Not sure what to do about it. I’ve told him but I may need to be more explicit.

You guys - I can’t put into words the immediate relief I felt giving birth, and the day and a half of freedom I have felt since then.

First of all, I am so incredibly grateful to report that I have a very healthy baby born at almost 39 weeks a few days before I was about to be induced. He is 9 lbs. 4 oz. but I did not really have any tearing and I push for a few minutes. In all fairness, that was also true for my first born, although he was a pound less and I did not have gestational diabetes for that pregnancy. I feel like I was so scared for this birth experience and it ended up being so much better than I would have dreamed of. While I do think he is a little on the larger side, I don’t think it’s that bad. He has no issues with his blood sugar and so far I haven’t either.

Things have been going so well, and I have been able to indulge in what I had been dreaming about since getting the GDM diagnosis.

It felt so bizarre to have my glucose levels checked and it come through in the 150s and the nurse tell me “that’s fine!” I was internally freaking out so this is a change lol. Plus being able to have freedom to eat without all the mental hoops is pretty weird. I’m going a little nuts right now, but I know that I’ll get back into a healthy rhythm where I’ll be able to find some balance.

I just want to offer some hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it may even be brighter than you anticipate.

This community helped me more than I can put into words - I spent so much time filled with anger and sadness about this diagnosis, and all of a sudden it’s… gone.

I’m here to chat if anyone needs it because I know how much others have helped me. Appreciate you all 💕

My husband’s behavior is concerning to me with our 15 month old. I’m at the end of pregnancy so I can’t do much physically, and my husband has to do a lot more with and for our toddler. Today our toddler was not moving from sitting and blocking the fridge so it would not close. I was trying to get him to move so I could close it by prompting him to walk away from it. He was not having any of it, and I was trying not to have to pick him up. My husband rapidly grabbed one of his arms and pulled him away from it, prompting him to start crying. I was shocked at how aggressive and unnecessary it was. He could have easily picked him up and he probably would not have started crying. He’s still so small and doesn’t understand when he’s doing something “wrong.” My husband also aggressively tells him “no!” And plays with him in a pretty intense way - that doesn’t bother me as much as the action this morning pulling his arm. It feels very developmentally inappropriate and concerning to me. Interested to see if I’m overreacting?!

The birth month has finally arrived! I am scheduled to be induced at 39 weeks on Cinco de Mayo. I am equal parts nervous and thrilled. I am so ready to get this show on the road after what feels like a years long pregnancy. I can almost taste it (just like the cake that will be in my postpartum room the day I deliver). However, I also realize there are serious risks involved and I am very nervous about this birth. The baby is big and I think that may be a fact. My first was 8 lb 5 oz at full term and this one has felt larger throughout. I really thought he would arrive sooner, but maybe I’ll have a surprise this weekend!? I wouldn’t mind going into labor naturally as well as not give the option for him to get any bigger. I guess that’s it!

I know there are a lot of “solutions” to induce labor but this seems like it would be one of the only legit ones, along with exercise… pretty desperate at this point