Soy mujer, tengo 31 y hace un rato estoy con mucha curiosidad de estar con un colágeno. Para mí, sería un chico menor de 27 años. He leido mucho que sexualmente es increíble y pues me da muchísima curiosidad, no me interesa para nada algo más serio que eso, Estoy hablando con un chico de 22 por una app de citas, y la verdad que me dan muchísimas ganas y a la vez mucho pudor, nunca lo he hecho, necesito desbloquearme jajaja.
Consejos?
First of all, I really want to thank everyone (especially all the women here) who replied to my last post. So many of you were incredibly kind, honest, and gave me genuinely helpful advice. I read everything, and a lot of it stayed with me.
A small update about one of the guys I mentioned—the one I went on a date with where things felt a little flat and there wasn’t much chemistry.
A lot of people told me to stop guessing and just ask, so I did. I reached out, said hi, and casually suggested maybe we could grab a coffee sometime.
He replied very respectfully and told me that he honestly hadn’t felt much chemistry and preferred to leave it there.
And honestly, I really respect that. I appreciate the clarity and the fact that he was direct instead of ghosting or leaving me confused.
But I also can’t lie—it affected me more than I expected.
I’ve been feeling weirdly sad and insecure about it. It made me question myself in a way I wasn’t expecting. Suddenly I feel less attractive, less interesting, less desirable… and I know logically that one person not feeling chemistry shouldn’t define my worth, but emotionally it still hits.
I think part of what makes this hard is that I’m pretty new to dating like this. So when I start experiencing rejection, even normal dating rejection, it shakes me more than I’d like to admit. It makes me question things I never questioned before.
I know people keep saying “don’t take it personally,” and I understand that rationally, but I genuinely don’t know how to do that.
How do you stop translating “this person didn’t feel chemistry” into “there must be something wrong with me”?
How do you date without making every outcome feel like a reflection of your value?
Lately I’ve been feeling really frustrated and confused about dating, and I’m starting to question myself.
I’ve had several dates recently, and they all seem to end in different versions of the same disappointment.
One guy I met at a club kissed me, later invited me out, and was respectful, punctual, organized, and probably a genuinely good person—but the date felt emotionally flat. Very little chemistry, very little flirting, he barely asked me anything about myself, and after that he gave very dry replies and disappeared.
Then I went out with another guy, a friend of a friend, and this one was the opposite: a lot of chemistry, a lot of laughter, strong physical attraction. We kissed, slept together (no sex, but still intimacy), and afterward… silence. He just never really followed up. That one hurt more because I thought, finally, someone I actually feel something with.
Then I had probably the worst date of all with an older man from Bumble. At first he seemed very polite and gentleman-like, but during breakfast he started talking about “feminine energy,” telling me women should walk slower, talk softer, walk behind men, criticizing what I eat, and saying women over 35 are basically “too old” and should focus more on becoming mothers instead of working too much. I left feeling shocked and honestly disgusted.
There were also other situations: men who talk a lot on Instagram and disappear, another guy that was only sex, conversations that never even turn into real dates.
At this point, I’m tired. I feel like I’ve accumulated a lot of rejection in a very short time, and even though rationally I know not every failed connection means something is wrong with me, emotionally it still hits hard.
I’ve noticed something in myself too: when someone becomes inconsistent or stops replying, I suddenly feel more attached to them—even if before I wasn’t that invested. It’s like the uncertainty makes me care more. I know that probably has more to do with validation, ego, and anxiety than actual feelings, but it still feels real.
I guess my real question is: how do you stop getting attached to inconsistent people? How do you tell the difference between genuine interest and just anxiety because you want to feel chosen?
And honestly… how do you stop taking all of this so personally?