u/ConfusedCareerMan

Single, early 30s and considering moving from London to Vancouver (at least for up to 2 years potentially). I’ve been in the UK for over a decade and extremely comfortable. Kinda in an in between stage of life - not ready to settle down, but not really interested in nightlife or bars/clubs. A bit burntout, lost and looking for a new adventure.

I typically have not been an outdoors person (if anything I’m a homebody that’s used to big city convenience) but I love the PNW and this type of nature and would like to try more activities in nature. I guess I’d be looking for a steady pace, but not boring.

Has anyone of similar age moved to Vancouver? How was your experience? What were the pros and cons? Was it easy meeting people and making genuine friends?

Early 30s and over the past year a lot of areas of my life have changed (for the worse, or at least in challenging ways).

Tried leaning into the change and switched jobs, which has ended up taking a horrible toll on me and I’m on the verge of losing my job. I’ve recently had anxiety attacks, felt shell shocked in moments and like a shell of myself. In between this stress, I’ve had family stay with me for long periods and had little time to myself.

I feel like I’ve lost myself and quite disconnected from a lot of things in my life. With my job and house lease likely coming to an end soon, I would be free to travel and take time out. It feels like I’ve been fighting and pushing through the entire time at the expense of myself, my time and my sanity.

I’m applying for a working holiday visa and the idea of taking a year or two to just travel. exist and do odd jobs feels needed. I would be stepping away from a well paid career, but it’s draining me and the comforts I have seem to not be making me happy or are being eroded away bit by bit.

TL;DR: While everyone around me is settling down with mortgages, marriage and kids, I want to make up for lost enjoyment time as multiple areas of my life aren’t working out.

I’m a grower, and kinda just felt like I’m normal when soft, but it randomly came to my mind yesterday and I realised a lot of people over the years have either pointed out my bulge, or I’ve caught them glancing.

An ex once told me (after we had broken up) that before we knew each other, her and her friend were checking me out from a distance and both saw my bulge and were like damn.

A guy friend mentioned it when I tried to downplay my size, “I’ve seen your bulge!” (I think referring to when we used to gym together and in changing rooms etc).

A housemate would jokingly comment on it if I was ever walking around in boxers (which I kinda became self conscious of doing).

When I wear jeans, it’s definitely the shape/fit that are baggy in that area, it’s a bit exaggerated but literally have noticed my manager and other colleagues glance. I was at a birthday and was posted on someone else’s social media, my best friend sent me a screenshot of that post with a circle drawn around my bulge. Similar to a group trip on holiday a friend took a zoomed in pic of it when posing/sightseeing.

I thought ok it’s definitely those jeans, but then have noticed even wearing other types of looser lazy/linen pants people have glanced or been at eye level and stared. It’s kinda made me self conscious in moments or I’ll feel the need to cover it/downplay even though I’m very flattered.

All this bragging and story telling to say, I didnt quite realise how much of a theme it has been throughout my life (this is coming from both men and women over like the last 12 years). And I’ve attributed it to different things. But whether I’ve been skinny or I’ve been overweight, my bulge persists. Just the two of us against the world