u/ComplexSea6082

▲ 164 r/adhdwomen

I have a teen and a three year old. My husband and I both work full time, and I am hitting a wall with my mental health. I hate my job and cannot keep up with everything. We are both in therapy, my husband does not understand what it takes to keep our home running and doesn’t contribute equally. It has been a grievous issue between us that the work load I carry, barely scrape by, miss deadlines for along with working full time is unreasonable.

I have hit a wall the last few days, I just can’t anymore. I’ve called off work and I’m paralyzed with fear. I just can’t do it anymore, my glass is empty. If we didn’t have children, I wouldn’t be writing this. I am ugly, I have an ugly outlook on the world, I feel completely depleted and no one cares. The only value I carry for anyone is to not complain while I make sure I am one step ahead and everyone’s bellies are full.

I am burnt-out and having a solo nervous breakdown in a parking lot. I literally have no one to call, I have no friends and the only family that cares about me is my 85 year old ailing grandmother who cares full time for her 95 year old ailing, paraplegic husband.

What do I do? I‘ve been spiraling and weeping about how I don’t matter since I got off with my therapist at 9 this morning. She sees us separately, has for years, and it’s just turned I to me providing context for all the bullshit he tells her. He takes up all the space, like a black hole, whenever we talk, it is only about him, when we make goals, they are goals for him, the food I cook is for him, the free time is for him, time I take off work is for him.

I am an object.

reddit.com
u/ComplexSea6082 — 7 days ago
▲ 83 r/Mommit

I was promised the life I dreamed of. It was a lie and my husband’s greed has put me in the darkest and deepest depth of burnout and self-loathing. I have been in survival mode since I became sentient. My middle-class, average American husband with a stable job and whole loving family informed me early on that he loved having a mom that stayed home and admired the partnership his partners still have.

Why am I working harder, making more, doing all the housework, labor, never taking a vacation, looking ugly every day while bro is spending money we don’t have on tattoos and expensive clothes and completely ignoring me beyond “what’s for dinner?” and I complimented you so can I get laid tonight?

Our son is 3.5, and I am so incredibly depressed and dead inside from years of him not realizing I’m a human being that I can’t function. I’ve called off work the last few days and I’m just weeping and staring into space.

What happens when I can’t pull myself together? He will leave me and I will just go be homeless I guess. Strangers on the internet, please witness another stranger’s descent into the ugly truth, he never loved me and when I’m not useful anymore I will be thrown out.

reddit.com
u/ComplexSea6082 — 7 days ago