u/Complete_Skirt5724

In a sort of loose way, I’d like to say I don’t “get” why I’m lonely. Why is this? Well, a lot of the time, the discourse around loneliness and people who suffer from it mainly revolves around poor looks being the cause of people’s loneliness. In my case, however, I’m not sure that my looks are necessarily why I’m alone, which logically is a relief, but also in a strange way kind of adding salt to the wound, because essentially it leads me to conclude that my loneliness is almost entirely the result of an aversion to socialization/interaction, and the formation of relationships.

I suspect that I am not unattractive, and in fact that there’s a possibility that I’m above average in appearance. Not too long ago I had a mutual on Instagram confess she thought I was attractive in my DMs, and I suppose then try to initiate a talking stage; this fell through, as I did not reciprocate the effort. Maybe a month later, another mutual also slid into my DMs, in what I suspect was an attempt to court me. Currently, I’ve had another mutual I believe showing interest (responding to notes with heart emojis and whatnot, and some other stuff I’d rather not elucidate), and today I woke up to a DM request of someone telling me I’m “stunning.” Not something I’d ever expect anyone to say about me, but I suppose it happened.

In short, then, what I have to blame for my solitude is my own revulsion to socialization in addition to avoidance and fear of relationships. I’m also, some might say, sort of a misanthrope, so that doesn’t help things, especially when I discover someone doesn’t meet my standards of morality. Often, my mindset is “why even try? Even if someone was, by some miracle, attracted to me, their values are probably incompatible with mine. They’d hate me and my beliefs, and frankly I can’t convince myself to love someone who I disagree with so intensely anyways.”

Side III of Physical Graffiti is one of the best sides of an album I’ve ever heard, maybe the best honestly. It feels really progressive for Zeppelin, but also soulful; it gets a perfect balance which I find other bands always lack. The instrumentation and song structures are complex and unusual, but the songs still retain a very natural, fluid feel all the way through, I think in large part due to Plant’s vocals, which I adore on this side. Side III is the side of PG which in my view solidifies it as perhaps the best Zeppelin album, and one of if not the best rock albums of all time. The whole album, but especially this side, is like an escape from the outside world. It is beyond far out and almost a spiritual experience at times. PG is an album I always look forward to spinning, especially side III.

There are an infinite number of songs about heartbreak/betrayal, but few about not having anyone to begin with.

Semi-recently I became mutuals on Instagram with a girl who shall go unnamed here. When I initially followed her and she returned the favor, I remember she reached out pretty fast in my DMs, I believe regarding a song I’d posted as a note, whose artist she liked. I’ve never met her in real life as we live very far away from each other, but I found out about her from being IG friends with her brother (we all share interests that we post about, mostly music and fashion). From that point on she pretty much liked every note I posted (and I post them pretty frequently, sometimes daily, mostly just music). Sometimes we’d end up having brief exchanges, with her once asking me if I was interested in being in a band together, although she soon discovered it wouldn’t work out due to our distance.

Fast forward, last weekend or so I posted a note asking “am I chopped or beautiful?” to which multiple people responded. They all told me I was beautiful (I wouldn’t expect them to outright insult me, so this isn’t me boasting!), but she specifically responded saying “You are beautiful- Trust.” When I read it, I’ll admit it did feel a bit personal, probably due to the “trust” part. But I did not think too much of it, since her sister also responded just saying “beautiful” (I’m her sister’s mutual unrelated to her siblings; she just found me via a reel I posted). Anyways, today, she responded to a note I posted containing a song (“Down by the Seaside” by Led Zeppelin, if it’s relevant) just saying “😍.” That’s what led me to post this.

Now, I could just respond and see where it goes, like a reasonable person, but to be honest I’m not that interested in actively pursuing her even if she does like me; right now I more just want to know if there’s attraction on her end. I have experienced girls confessing/flirting in my DMs recently (one explicitly told me she found me attractive and I suppose proceeded to try for a relationship, another just responded to my notes with emojis like “😍” and “💞” thrice and tried to ask me how my day was sort of out of the blue (I never took interest in that)), but I’d like to know if this is an instance of interest or if I’m over analyzing and perhaps also have an inflated ego. If she is interested, maybe it’d be smart of me to get over my immense fear of approaching the fairer sex, since I suppose I can’t be that unattractive.

I’ve been enjoying Blue Letter a lot lately. Ever since I got the Buckingham-Nicks era debut album, I’ve really liked it, but I’ve noticed upon recent listens that it’s one of my favorite songs on the album. Despite its short length and really jingly/poppy sound, I find it very evocative. It’s an extremely optimistic/happy-sounding song, which is a side of Fleetwood that I’ve always loved (think other songs like Don’t Stop, Monday Morning), but also still emotional/romantic, I suppose because of its lyrics in addition to what I associate the band with overall. The part where Lindsey and Stevie sing “Redbird” together just gets me every time for some reason. Overall, it’s great cover and one of the highlights of the “white album.”