Im in an emotionally abusive friendship
So i (F20) have a guy friend (M19). So he proposed to me last year, I rejected him, dated soemone else after that, we weren't talking for a while, then got back talking again, he confessed again a few days ago on my birthday. I rejected again.
The reason why I keep rejecting him: he gets crazy jealous and defensive when I talk to another guy even for academic purposes, hes controlling, has an opinion on everything i do.
So lately, he keeps saying shit like hes doing so much for me, im not doing anything for him, that im not available enough, for info, we text all day. I hate calls. But i still talk to him everyday, everytime we're on call, I think its a waste of time, hours go by, mostly me getting mad at the shit he says. I could instead study, or apply for internships, do soemthing productive. He flirts. I hate flirting with a person im not committed to. He says all the men ive dated got a chance but he didnt, doesnt he deserve a chance? What the fuck am I supposed to say to that? If while talking I dont hear what he says and point that out, he says im being mean. If im online and I dont text him, he gets mad at me for that, he wants to know everything going on in my life, everything that I do, everything that happens to me. Literally, everything. He gets offended if I say I want to watch TV or a kdrama or anime, he says im doing all those without talking to him in my free time or telling him. Hes not my boyfriend, so I feel weird doing all of this, but if I tell him, he gets offended again. All that hurt, ill have to take the heat again. Im sick of all of this shit, he keeps saying he'll kill me if I leave I leave him again, hell no way im scared of that, but its so annoying. I dont ever want to see him again, he doesnt understand shit about me but keeps saying that I dont try to understand him at all. I told him not to keep hopes on me that ill date him or something, but he still makes all those efforts, how is any of that my fault? I dont like him, I dont want to force myself to do something i dont want to, ill be far more miserable if I date him and I know it. I dont want that.
Im going to the third year of my college, I just finished second. Any advice on what I should do now? I know i basically just killed myself the moment I decided to be friends with him again, I shouldve listened to all my friends when they told me I was making the wrong decision. I shouldve listened, i cant take this anymore. I feel like hes expecting the kind of commitment a girlfriend would give him. But im not. Save me.
Any advice or support is appreciated, for criticisms, I hope you're not too hard on me.