u/CoffeeCoKy

Seven weeks ago my ex fiancée, partner of 10 years, told me with tears in her eyes the day she broke up with me “Be happy..”

I told her through muffled sobs “YOU make me happy..”

I’m trying so hard to heed her parting advice.

But I’m not happy..

With our cat Sunshine in tow, I left as she asked.

I’ve improved myself and trajectory in life already immensely since then. But despite my best efforts I don’t feel happy. She was my, lowercase s, sunshine. My light. My air. My rock. My absolute everything.

She hurt me awfully in the final months of our relationship before the breakup which I don’t want to go into details about. It had a direct role in our split. I still forgive her..

I’ve held it together these last 3-4 weeks wonderfully. But today I feel it all crashing down again. I’m so hurt and confused. I’m always asking myself ‘where did I go so wrong??’, ‘why wasn’t I enough?’

I’m a mess. Crying alone at work. 😞

I have a broken heart yet the fire inside me has never burned brighter. I feel my potential now more than ever.

Financially I’m in the best place I’ve been in years. I picked up a second job, bought a car, and I’ll have it fully paid off within a few months. I’m investing aggressively again.

Health has never been better either. I’m exercising more than I ever have. My body looks nice, feels nice. I finally walked away from the vice we both used since 2020, the one you still continue to do.

I have a hunger for education. College courses are on the way. I’m determined to study hard, grow my knowledge, and stand out from the crowd. I want to constantly challenge myself, build new skills, and become the best version of who I can be.

Socially, life has changed too. I’m making more friends now than I have since high school. Some online who genuinely support me and love seeing my growth, and others at my second job who make every shift feel lighter because conversation comes so naturally with them.

I just don’t understand why this fire showed up now. Part of me can’t help but wonder if, had I become this version of myself sooner, maybe we’d still be together. That part is hard to live with. And if this was my role in things falling apart, I truly am sorry.

Maybe this growth came from having no other choice but to move forward. Maybe the pain forced me to finally confront the parts of myself I had ignored for years. But one thing I know for certain is that I’m no longer willing to stay stagnant. I can’t..

I’m having a bad day today. I’ve been trying my absolute best to move on after everything we’ve been through and I feel I’ve been doing an overall good job handling my emotions in these recent weeks.

It should be easy for me. You wronged me so horribly in our final months.

I just.. I can’t believe I still haven’t heard a single word from you since. I don’t know if it’s guilt that you’re burying away by not acknowledging me or my existence. I don’t know if it’s because you got with the guy you wronged me with and you’re being loyal to him in a way you weren’t to me. I don’t know if anything we had ever really mattered to you.

Maybe it’s a little of all three.

I’ve met some really really awesome people because of your actions, though. I’ve made so many friends I wouldn’t have. A couple online. Some at the second job I took up after you broke my heart. The topic even came up naturally with a coworker because she noticed my pin at the registers was 0516 and hers was 0513. She told me it was her ex husband’s birthday. I told her mine was yours.

Even with all the love and support I’ve been given, which I wouldn’t trade for the world, I have moments like this where I feel so alone.

Every time I help a customer and have to type in that pin.

Every Dolly Parton song that comes on my uncle’s radio.

Every one of your pink hairs I still find on my clothes.

I can’t wait to fully get over you the way you seem to have for me. Time heals all wounds I’m told but man do I wish time was faster.

My full time job is for my family’s small business. We do offer a 401k but there’s no employer match.

I’m currently building my emergency savings through HYSA and maxing Roth IRA this year. Also have a 401k account through my part time job that *does* offer an employer match that I’m taking full advantage of. ( Keep in mind the part time is only about $1000 a month after taxes. Not a whole ton. )

After all that is done, is it worth getting another 401k for my full time since it’s offered or simply use a Taxable account through Fidelity for investing?

25, Going through a breakup where I lost the apartment I had been living in since 2019. Back to living at moms. Working 60 hours a week and would love to move back out after grinding these hours for a long long while.

Any advice appreciated. Thank you!

We were together for 10 years and for that time I was the happiest man alive. I truly never thought I’d live a day without her by my side nor did I think she was capable of doing what she did.

In the final months I caught her cheating on me (mostly…) emotionally multiple times with the same guy. I gave her so many chances to just stop and she couldn’t. This happened about 6 weeks ago.

I lost everything that mattered to me.

The one I thought was the love of my life, my best friend of 15 years, the apartment we shared since 2019, 2/3 of my lovely lovely cats… It’s been an emotional roller coaster every day since. I go from missing her and wishing she’d come back to these feelings of hate where I wish I never see her again. It’s such whiplash.

I could really use a friend.

Wow. Just wow.

What a beautiful movie with such a beautiful message.

The breakup was a little over a month ago. I’ve had a cluster of emotions every day that range from happiness, relief, anger, sadness, hurt. This movie really let me know that it’s okay to feel what I’ve been feeling. After 10 years, the heartache was well well worth it. Every bit. And I’d go through it all again to experience those beautiful moments that come with love.

At the end, when they hear all the reasons it won’t work, all the flaws, all the ways they’ll hurt each other… and they still say “okay.” 😭 Love isn’t about guarantees. It’s about choosing someone, even with the risk.

Love is hard, love is filled with adversity and bad moments. It will never be what you fully want. But that doesn’t mean it’s not beautiful or meaningful.

If anything, that’s what makes it feel real.

Even though things didn’t last, I don’t regret loving that deeply.

EDIT: I've been doing what my friend and I call "exposure therapy" 💀 On a breakup movie marathon. It's helped way more than I thought it would. I definitely had a few emotional moments, but it was worth it. Amazing movie.