u/CleverCrow_1919

I had my GV account for YEARS (used it for my freelance work), and my number was recently overwhelmed by spammers, so I decided to try for a different one. I didn’t realize that even though I was a longtime customer, I would have to supply my picture id and personal information to verify my account and get a new number.

I don’t feel comfortable sharing that information with basically nobody knows who, especially after I think that my information may have been compromised in the first place. I hope that Proton will eventually consider an alternative to GV, as they have been doing so well with drive and other apps.

I started out as a front end coder years ago (loved it), moved into digital design and art direction (didn’t love it as much) and later UX (adored), which seemed like this perfect blend of all of the things: I did strategy and research, created wireframes, interviewed users, coded prototypes and designed the final product based on data. I enjoyed the work for several years until bootcamps opened everywhere and the work I did and the teams I worked with changed dramatically.

I recently saw a stat that UX jobs are down 71% since 2022, which actually makes sense to me. It doesn’t seem that corporate teams always know what to do with UX, and the freelance clients I’ve had really just want graphic design / UI / graphic production work. They think that UX means graphic design, and that’s absolutely not what I want to be doing.

Those of you who are doing front end dev: is coding still going strong? If I were to get back into it, what should I learn, or re-learn?

Those of you who are still in UX: what do you think about UX at this time? Is there still a robust industry that I’m not aware of?

I’m trying to brainstorm next steps, and would love to hear your thoughts!

When I was a kid, I couldn’t wait to be an adult so I wouldn’t be bullied. It turns out it’s my lifelong reality. I’ve always struggled to fit in, and I’ve tried to be nice. I can’t win. I’m either a pushover, or if I withdraw and mind my own business, heads down and just do the work, people see me as stuck up.

I worked in an industry with a lot of big personalities, where success seems tied more to visibility and self-promotion than hard work. I’m great at the actual craft of what I do (I write and design and sometimes I code) and I find the work interesting, but the self-promotion part feels impossible. There’s also something about me people just don’t like. I once worked at a small agency where a guy I barely interacted with would corner me in the hallway and tell me he hated me, over and over, and even joked about it with the engineers on his team like it was so funny to traumatize me for no reason. That’s what my work experience has been like.

People like my work but treat me like pond scum, like I’m subhuman. No matter how polite or competent I try to be, no matter how good the work is, people act like I’m some kind of intrusive alien. I’m friendly, I know how I’m expected to act and behave. I have hygiene, I dress well, I’m funny and articulate. But somehow I’m a mark no matter what I do. My whole adult life has been a test and learn.

My industry has gone through major layoffs and I was laid off from my last contract two years ago. My manager would swear at me in meetings. I went to HR about it, so it wasn’t a surprise when he canceled my contract without telling me or any of the internal clients I worked with.

After that, I reached out to people I’d worked with over the years to network, the way you’re supposed to on LI. To my surprise and horror, a few people said they didn’t remember me. One guy I worked with for three years on big projects. Another was my creative director. We met for coffee once a month for a few years after the project ended, yet on LI he kept insisting he didn’t know me. I even sent screenshots of the project I designed. He remembered the project, but not me. Many of these projects have won awards, and I directly contributed to that work. Yet…..they don’t remember who I AM.

I do everything I can to be friendly and normal, the things I see others do. I see people helping each other, supporting each other, lifting each other up. I’ve helped many people get jobs and projects over the years because that’s what people do, and I’ve tried to be a friend and break into social groups. But when it’s my turn, they don’t remember me or don’t respond. It’s not just work, it’s the world. I feel hopeless and utterly alone except for my dog. I don’t have a relationship, I have no real friends, and I’m walking around in total despair. It’s getting harder and harder, not only as my savings dwindle but just navigating the world.

I feel like I’ll always be that person looking in at everyone else’s life. I feel like I will never understand how to connect with others. Yet, I see others with Autism and ADHD have friends and lives. I just don’t know what to do.