u/Clean_Cake_143

I always start with a clean slate with every human I meet. You came into my life a bit too coincidentally….. Now after going through the trials and tribulations i’m not 100% sure my body and mind want you to stay. I can’t force anything to happen and I can give you another chance to make me feel chosen in a room full of people but, i will never forget. And I fear that’s worse in my mind. People can make mistakes yes of course but my body will never forget how insignificant you made me feel at times. And over time I will begin to resent you for it. You truly ruined it. And I finally thought to myself…. “he may be the one….” Do you know how devastating that is to me? I haven’t felt spiritually close or connected to any one in such a LONG time. I feel defeated again and my mind is circling back to that one thought that lingers, that there may be no one on this planet who understands me. I can still smell your cologne on my shirt and I love that scent. It truly hurts me deep inside my heart that the progress we had and the magical tune we had going is no longer found. :(

stuck like velcro. but is that healthy? i’m not sure i have the capacity to be stuck to someone like that again. i’ll end up losing control and sight of reality. is that what you want? is there a way to be super close without the games and toxicity? why do you test my possessiveness? do you do it because you’re so painfully insecure and need validation from me? there’s other ways to get that validation babe. and your games will end up with you alone, again. chasing me because i will reject you, again. is that what you truly want babe?

we had such a wonderful thing going. i finally felt love for someone like i haven’t in years. why did you have to hide your living situation from me? it’s obviously not your fault i have a low tolerance for shady behavior but hiding that one little thing has thrown me from inside your skin to half way across the world. i cried on my way home from work today because of how much i can’t handle. one little thing and my mind automatically defines you as a threat to my safety. my nervous system? wrecked. and it’s not your fault babe, i’m so burnt out and overwhelmed by my life. i just want to get far far away….. somewhere no one knows my name and sleep good for once. i hate my job. and i truly haven’t felt like this with anyone, ever. it’s early babe and if we cut ourselves loose now maybe we will have more peace or miss out on an amazing connection. either way this year i choose peace. no more regulating others because I come first. always.

I put my all in to things that lead up to relationships and people always back away or disappear and I would literally let them merge souls with me. Why!!!? I don’t understand what is so cringe about liking someone and them liking you back. Why can’t it go both ways. Why can’t it stay consistent .

i really really like you but i feel like you’re not matching me on intensity. there’s no explanations for certain things and you don’t even text me goodnight most nights. i really wanted this to work but sadly i think i’m going to focus on myself. it sucks because i feel so comfortable around you but i also feel like you’re not fully opening up to me about your feelings…… being with you feels almost magical but i fear i may be too sensitive for you and i hate being needy and asking someone to text me goodnight at least! whatever ill miss you it was a good run we had.