I'm convinced kms is the only option left for me
I'm convinced kms is the only option left for me
I've realized that it's been hard for me to be happy ever since I was a kid. I pushed away most of my life by telling myself I'll find a place where I fit in. The only place was among substance users and now I don't have that option too. I've never felt happiness among people, only in solitude. But that's not always available, least never again.
I've always wanted to run away to a forest and deal with living alone and no matter what happens in life, I always thought that would be my peace. I've been idealize suicide all my life too. Only in the recent past I've convinced myself that life didn't have to be that way.. But now, I'm right back at that place and I've already given my all at making my self feel ok and trying to be happy or just live. I'm too scared to kms atm, in fear of how that would affect my already broken family, although I strongly believe I'll be doing them a favor by not being a burden.
I genuinely feel that's the only solution. And I'm scared of myself, I'm scared of being right about it. I need help but idk if help will be of any good. I genuinely wish my life wasn't mine to live, I don't know how to live and I'm tired of pretending that I can go on.