u/Classic-Dog-9518

Hi, 25M here. I’ve tried multiple times to fully quit fapping, but my longest streak has been around 10 days.

This time, I’m taking a different approach. I’m not stopping myself from masturbating, but I’m not allowing myself to watch porn while doing it. The idea is to break the connection between arousal and porn, and to be able to rely on my own imagination instead.

I kind of see it like becoming vegetarian before going fully vegan.

Has anyone tried this approach before? Does it work?

Also, for those who still masturbate without porn—what do you think about? I’m not in a relationship right now, so imagining random, non-existent people feels a bit weird. Imagining people I go on dates with also feels strange, and thinking about exes seems like it could create an unhealthy mental connection.

I (25M) moved 2 years ago to the city where I live now, where I met a girl at my uni. We used to casually hang out, but mostly in group scenarios, and we would rarely separate for 1on1s outside the group. I kinda liked her at that time, but I was in another relationship, so I did not really give it much thought.

Over the summer, I was gone for 3 months and we stopped hanging out until a couple of months ago, when we saw each other at the airport boarding different flights at the same time. We talked briefly and said to meet again. I texted her after a month to grab a coffee, but it wasn't a date since the "purpose" of the coffee was for me to get traveling tips for a place she was really familiar with. The coffee went well, we talked about many other topics and walked home the same way. She even walked 20 minutes extra in the wrong direction in order not to interrupt the conversation.

I invited her to a party that was happening the day after, and she agreed to come. She met most of my new friends and I think she had a nice time. We realized that we have been going to the same gym but never saw each other, so we also went to the gym together once.

I thought I picked up some signs here and there and asked my friends opinion on it, and they agreed that I should ask her out, so I did. I invited her to a chill park/picnic date, but I got an answer that she had fun spending time with me, but she is currently not dating because she is focusing on work and simply does not have the energy. However, she said she would be happy to hang out casually sometime.

I do not want to be delusional and spend time with someone that I might catch feelings for if they are not interested in me in that way, but at the same time I cannot help but be hopeful that this might not have been a no. I would feel weird to suggest a casual hang out after this so should I just cut contact and avoid hurting myself and wasting time, because from past experiences I really don't think we could be actual friends?