Strugglin
So, idk if this is just me, but I’ve been getting hit with a lot of misandry lately. Like, my girlfriend hates men, my best friend hates men, my mom even makes comments (“all men do this anyway”), and I don’t know. I’ve been on T for 12 years, post top, post hysto, been passing 100% for 11 years. Been stealth for 5 years. And I’ve never felt this way. I’m beyond ashamed of what I’ve become. I have lots of internal transphobia already, and now I just have a hatred for the fact I’m a man. A white cis passing man at that.
I know it’s not directed at me in particular, but it still hurts to hear that everyone you love and who loves you, hates what you are. I can’t feel proud of manliness anymore. I used to love all the little manly things I did, but now it just seems like a schtick.
I don’t know. It’s just been bothering me. No wonder men don’t come forward with how they feel. Just tired. Frustrated. Hurt.