u/Choice-Jelly-3515

▲ 3 r/AITAH

In January my girlfriend decided she wanted to lose some weight. We've both started being more consistent with the gym and will go 3 times a week The thing is my gf isn't really doing more at the gym than she used to.

She does maybe an extra 5 mins on a cardio machine.  In terms of meals, she's reduced the portions of some of the things she eats but not most of it and while she has reduced snacking overall, when she doesn’t snack she ends up having quite a bit. 

She was complaining last night about not being able to lose weight despite trying for months. She said she doesn't know why she's not losing weight.

I mentioned potentially weighing her food or tracking what she eats but she said she doesn't want to be doing that. I mentioned trying to go for walks and getting more steps in steps on non gym days as she tends to just come home from work and just stay in the apartment but she refused that also.  I mentioned she’d beenn talking about a personal trainer and she just said she doesn’t want one.

She won't actually weigh herself so she doesn't actually know if she's losing, maintaining or gaining weight. We cooked dinner then she immediately started adding a lot of cheese. The meal didn't even need cheese and is fine without it so I mentioned to her to maybe use less cheese and she refused that and said she didn't use much. 

Later the night she was complaining again about not losing weight but I just said it sounds like she expects a lot of results quickly for minimal effort. I pointed out she refused every suggestion I made. I said if she's serious about losing weight she has to put the work in.

She said I was blaming her for it but I just pointed out that yeah she needs to take some accountability for it when she openly admits she won't actually do most things that will help her lose weight.  She accused me of calling her lazy and of fat shaming her but I just said that's not what's happening. 

AITAH for telling my girlfriend to take some accountability regarding her not losing weight?

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u/Choice-Jelly-3515 — 16 days ago

It was my 30th birthday this month. Prior to this my girlfriend asked me what I wanted from her and I said I'd like a small get together of just a few close family and friends so if she could organise that it would be great.

There's a bar near us that lets you book the place out for free if you have at least 10 people as it's a small place so I mentioned going there and she nodded and said okay.

My birthday came and I got nothing like that. I got a card and a couple of little gifts (2 gift cards and a book) from my gf but no gathering or any sort of celebration. I was upset at this and my girlfriend asked me why I was upset and I explained it to her.

She said it would have been a hassle trying to get everyone together and would have took a lot of work to organise. I told her she knew how much it would have meant to me and that she literally asked what I wanted from her and then chose to ignore it. I said it hurts hearing her say I'm basically not worth any effort.

She said I should have done it myself then but I pointed out she literally asked what I wanted off her and I told her so why would I then go and do it myself when she didn’t say she wasn’t going to bother doing it. She said I was trying to guilt trip her but I told her I was just expressing how I felt about it.

She said I was being too unfair and that I should be happy with what I got. I told her she doesn't get to tell me when I can and can't be upset and that it obviously hurts knowing your partner doesn't care enough to even try to organise what I wanted for my birthday.

She again said I was guilt tripping her and deliberately trying to make her feel bad.

AIW for expecting a small gathering for my 30th birthday and expressed my upset when it didn’t happen?

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u/Choice-Jelly-3515 — 17 days ago