u/ChocolateSundai

I had such a great day. Actually a few great days in a row. I lost my lil baby when he was 20 weeks due to a subchorionic hematoma causing early labor and a sleeping baby.

I also hemorrhage during the procedure to remove the placenta.

Tonight I can’t stop wishing I was pregnant. Feeling him kick again (I only got to feel it for a few days). Having innocent faith that things will be okay. So innocent that I was afraid to give birth especially as a block woman, but I actually didn’t even know what to be afraid of exactly. M

Now that I know, and have experienced a hemorrhage to the point I had to get a blood transfusion I am terrified of trying again. I’m 32. I do have a (TW) living child that is almost 2.

I ask afraid that if I try again I could bleed again. What if this time they couldn’t control it? What if I lost another baby? What if I get a subchorionic hematoma again? What if I bleed every day of my pregnancy AGAIN?

So many what ifs that I can’t sleep. What do you do when you can’t sleep because life keeps knocking at your door?

I just gotta know…is this a slow burn like Crescent City? Because thoroughly enjoyed it but I read it with the mindset to just enjoy the world and the story and not wait for the next exciting moment.

ACOTAR series is by far my favorite with ACOMAF being my absolute favorite. I plan to reread both books after I finish TOG series. I’m just nervous I won’t like it. Crescent city took me a while to get into as did ACOTAR…I just want a good book with great plot and characters.

TLDR- Give it to me straight- will I have to bore myself through 200pgs before TOG gets interesting?