u/Chipmunk_Extra

For people who’ve genuinely practiced/followed it: How has it helped you in real life?

Did it actually make your mind calmer or help with overthinking/emotions?

And if someone’s completely new to it, which book would you recommend starting with first?

Something recently happened which has left me feeling completely shaken and unable to process the emotional impact of it; I’ve been working on figuring out the best way to approach my thoughts and feelings about this experience.

I have been friends with my best friend…like really good friends, we worked together, exercised together, and started creating a business together from the ground up (saving every penny we could) but had not even started it yet due to the lack of finance.

An acquaintance of mine recently told me he (my best friend) had already started his own similar business (with someone else that invested around 20K) and did not tell me about it. When I called him to discuss this information, I was told he would not talk to me and went to see him at the office only to find that he was now working from home (without having communicated this to me).

This situation has left me wondering whether my best friend really just made a business decision or if he considers me no longer worthy of his friendship because he has found something else…he has replaced me.

The same day that I found out about my best friend and his new business, I spoke to my cousin that is preparing to enter into a divorce; she told me that her husband said to her…”you can’t give me what I need.” That phrase stuck with me.

This is what sparks a train of thought in my mind; Is there something I lack that caused him to make this decision and if the answer to this question is yes, then how come I fall into this category?

What are people looking for in a relationship? Are they looking for loyalty, money...or opportunities? If you have ever experienced something similar to this that involved being betrayed by your best friend or partner, how did you handle it?

I’ve realized most conversations stay surface level, so trying something different.

If you’re up for it, share something real — thoughts about life, loneliness, happiness, relationships, or anything you’ve been carrying quietly.

I’ll reply properly, not just one-liners.

I’m not just looking for advice 🙄

I actually want to talk and hear real experiences👀

If you’re single, how has it been for you emotionally? Did you struggle with loneliness at some point?

Also curious did things like getting a pet actually help, or not really?

Would appreciate genuine conversations more than one-line answers

Yesterday, I had one of those conversations that starts casually but ends up staying in your head 💭

I met a woman at a café. She mentioned she was single, and as we talked more, she opened up about her past relationship—it had been toxic. The kind that drains you, makes you question yourself, and leaves you needing time to rebuild 😶‍🌫️

Despite that, she didn’t sound bitter. Just… aware.

At some point, the conversation shifted to life choices, and eventually, children.

I told her honestly—children aren’t for me.

I explained that I value my independence, my time, the ability to live life without that level of responsibility. I’ve never felt that strong pull toward having kids. To me, it always seemed like something people do because they’re expected to.

She listened without interrupting.

Then she said something simple:

“Maybe you’re looking at it from the outside.”

That caught me off guard.

I asked her what she meant.

She said that for her, even after everything she’s been through, she still believes children represent something pure. Not society, not expectations—but a kind of connection that isn’t based on conditions or past damage 🤍

That surprised me.

I pointed out the obvious—after a toxic relationship, wouldn’t you want less emotional risk, not more?

She smiled and said,

“Exactly why I see it differently now. When something breaks you, you start valuing what’s genuine.”

She explained that children, to her, aren’t about completing life or fixing anything. They’re about experiencing a form of love that isn’t shaped by ego, past trauma, or expectations.

I told her it still feels like giving up a part of yourself.

She shook her head gently and said,

“You don’t lose yourself, you grow into someone you didn’t know you could be.”

I still disagreed, at least for myself.

I told her I believe you can have a full, meaningful life without kids—through experiences, passions, freedom 🌍

And she agreed.

That was the part that stuck with me the most. She wasn’t trying to prove me wrong. She just offered her perspective—one shaped by pain, healing, and still choosing to believe in something deeper.

By the end of it, my stance didn’t change.

But my understanding did.

I realized that for some people, especially those who’ve seen the worst side of relationships, the idea of children isn’t about obligation—it’s about rediscovering something honest and unfiltered ✨

And maybe that’s the point.

Not everyone wants children. Not everyone needs them.

But for some, they represent a kind of meaning that’s hard to explain unless you feel it.

And both ways of living can be valid 🤝