We have been married for only three and a half months but I am very unhappy. It’s not all bad. Good days are good but bad days are worse. He isn’t like this every single day and we certainly did have some chemistry but it’s non existent now.
My husband and I were in a relationship for two years and due to my parents pressure to get me married early, I married him. He’s a nice person, very upfront and is set on his ways of life. I cannot bring myself to be around him and I jolt to my parents house every chance I get. He stopped visiting my parents since we got married and even when they come to our house, he doesn’t engage in conversation. Whereas I have to socialise with his huge family and friends and there cannot be any complaints. Any time we go out, it’s either with his family or friends. He doesn’t seem to bother getting to know my friends. The one thing that bothers me so so much is that he doesn’t speak well about my best friend. He knows how important she is to me but he never made an effort to get to know her. She’s the most important person in my life.
Since we got married, he never bought me anything, taken me out to a date or a movie. It’s just work, home, repeat. I am very uncomfortable with the things he makes me do in the bedroom. It’s always a bj that I don’t want to give or he makes me lick my own breasts which is a huge turn off for me. I cannot physically have sex with him no matter how many times I try. It’s just sex, never love making. He’s not sweet or romantic. He just wants to have sex. He’ll do exactly the bare minimum to get him there and proceed to have sex. One time he came in my mouth despite me telling him that it is a huge trauma for me because I was assaulted when I was 17 the same way. When I was angry at him for doing that, he threw things around, punched the walls and got so violent. He never hit me but I was terrified that he would. I had to run for my safety. We went on a two day trip to a beach place nearby and he made me jerk him in the public beach when we sat in the waves even when I begged not to do that. I wanted to have innocent fun. He didn’t give a shit and persuaded me to do that. If I said no, he would make it sound like it’s my fault for not satisfying him and how I am letting him down. I will never forget that day because I was so humiliated and embarrassed. I felt violated. He ruined our honeymoon for me. He never gives me enough money for my own needs despite us having a business together. He’ll give me money specific to the need I have and then when I ask him for savings, he would say he has to look out for other expenses. But he doesn’t mind giving hefty amounts to his parents and he wouldn’t even consult me first. And there is this case of constant boredom. I am afraid that my life will be so so bland and miserable. We never do anything fun. I am so tired and exhausted all the time. I do a huge load of housework and also our office work. I am very unhappy and I don’t know how to go back to being happy. I have communicated my frustration with him but he doesn’t seem to understand or care.