u/Cherel_

Hey yall,

I just started talking with someone and well within a day he sends a d*ck pic, and I'm not sure how I should feel about it. I just thought he was nice, and he told me he was trans. We just started talking trough discord about that, but then he said he wants me as his girlfriend so he could stay male, and he wanted pics of me. I guess he's just weird or something, but I just don't know what to do. How do I stay away from these kinds of people and have just some friends to talk with. I finally thought I found someone to just talk to, and now I get this.

Hey everyone,

This is a weird post I never thought I would make. At this moment, I'm just an emotional wreck and can't take it any longer. I don't even know why I'm making this post—probably to hear that everything will be alright, but no one can guarantee that.

I just started my transition 2 weeks ago at 26 (MtF). I knew I was trans much earlier, but because of chronic illness, hospitalization, and other stuff, I never started during my childhood or teenage years. I deeply regret that, even though some of it was out of my control. The years flew by, and there’s nothing I can do about it now.

The dysphoria and everything going on mentally is becoming too much right now, and with me trying to get my degree, having to work, and my best and only friend leaving for deployment, I feel like this might truly be the end. I never even thought I would make it this far in life, or even come out for that matter. But at this point, I feel like I might end it all in the next couple of weeks.

I probably was never truly mentally stable to begin with, and now everything is catching up to me. I hate myself more than ever, to the point where I’m even hurting myself. I keep looking back on those years in the hospital for other problems and seeing children transition, while I was too scared to say anything, even though I felt the same. I hate myself so much for being too scared to come out to my parents, even though I knew they would accept me.

I don't know if I can keep being by myself with no one to talk to anymore. My thoughts are just too scary at times, and I hate myself for it. I'm not sure why I keep writing, but I just needed to tell someone how I feel and how much I hate life right now.

Sorry for this post, and I'm grateful for everyone here who has helped me before. I just don’t know how any of you keep going, and I feel like this might be the end of me, or that I’ll fall into addiction.