u/CheapContribution384

Assalam Alaikum sisters and brothers! I'm a female soon going in person for college. FYI I live in Texas, a peak red state. I've been wanting to wear a niqab for the longest time but because we live here, my parents believe I would be putting my life at risk wearing it. Baba believes before I even think of wearing it, I should learn self defense which is understandable. For the most part, I CAN defend myself. I'm not a small fragile pettite girl either. Mummy believes that when and if I do start dressing modestly in that sense, I should start with the hijab then work my way up. However, it seems that both are still against it.

This will be the first time in almost 10 years where I will be going back into a classroom and be learning alongside peers. And one of my biggest headache is what will I be wearing. I had it all planned out, I would be wearing my niqab, dressing modest, and just focusing on my studies. But now that my parents are strictly against it, I'm torn.

I already dress really modest, show little to no skin, just my hands and neck up show. I dont wear tight clothing either, etc yk. But I wanted to start wearing a khimar with a niqab starting early this year so when fall rolls around and I start going in person, I would have built that confidence and would have been comfortable dressing that way. Now that I cant do that, I dont know what to do. I can keep dressing modestly like how I do now, but showing my face and hair still feel so wrong to me.

I genuinely dont know what to do in this situation. I dont want to go against my parents but at the same time, I dont want to upset Allah. I have this burning passion for my religion and to do everything the right way, but it seems that everything is working against me or holding me back.

If any advice can be given about this, I'd really appreciate it.

For context, I was homeschooled for almost 10 years, and during my first year and a half of college, I’ve been fully online. So for a long time, I’ve had little to no real-life social interaction.

This fall will be my first time going to college in person, and honestly, I’m both excited and nervous.

Before all this, I wasn’t someone who struggled socially. Even if I was a bit shy, I could still talk to people, make conversation, and build connections pretty easily. But now, after years of being isolated, I feel really out of touch.

It’s not that I “live under a rock”, I'm aware of what’s going on in the world, and I’d say I have good awareness and discernment. But when it comes to social norms, trends, slang, and just how people interact now, I feel like I don’t really understand or relate.

I guess my main fear is that when I start trying to put myself out there again, I won’t fit in or I’ll come across as awkward or out of place. I don’t want to be judged for not knowing certain things, or end up feeling like an outcast again.

At the same time, I know I might be overthinking this.

Has anyone else gone through something similar (especially after homeschooling or long periods of isolation)? How did you adjust socially when going back into an in-person environment?

For context, I was homeschooled for almost 10 years, and during my first year and a half of college, I’ve been fully online. So for a long time, I’ve had little to no real-life social interaction.

This fall will be my first time going to college in person, and honestly, I’m both excited and nervous.

Before all this, I wasn’t someone who struggled socially. Even if I was a bit shy, I could still talk to people, make conversation, and build connections pretty easily. But now, after years of being isolated, I feel really out of touch.

It’s not that I “live under a rock”, I'm aware of what’s going on in the world, and I’d say I have good awareness and discernment. But when it comes to social norms, trends, slang, and just how people interact now, I feel like I don’t really understand or relate.

I guess my main fear is that when I start trying to put myself out there again, I won’t fit in or I’ll come across as awkward or out of place. I don’t want to be judged for not knowing certain things, or end up feeling like an outcast again.

At the same time, I know I might be overthinking this.

Has anyone else gone through something similar (especially after homeschooling or long periods of isolation)? How did you adjust socially when going back into an in-person environment?