u/CellistRemarkable976

Relationship of stress and sexual drive

I am 27/M and it's been almost 4 years and rarely I get morning wood.

Since then, I have been with 4 partners and every time, i tend to keep myself secondary and keep her and her emotions first. I stop my daily routine, i pause my aspirations. I still know what I wanna do, but whenever I'm with someone, i pause it and like that, months pass by. I am not keeping promises to myself. That deep seated regret is what I sleep with.

Now it's been a year since I haven't felt relaxed physically and mentally. I work, have a stable job, workout regularly, eat healthy.

But sexually, I panic in sex, thinking desperately about making her please, making sure I'm the best sex she ever had. And mostly I can't get it up because I'm too much in my head and I prematurely ejaculate.

There was a time last year when I felt confident with myself, and the sex became super amazing without trying. I could go 30-40 mins a session and about 3-4 times a day and almost everyday. I had the same routine this time also in January and February, but after that, it fell drastically to barely a minute. We discuss everything and she tells me about her past, and there's this thing in my head where I want to be her best sex, and I want to explore everything with her. Even she told me about why I'm trying too hard, but I can't help relax myself.

Please help me relax my mind.

I am 27/M and it's been almost 4 years and rarely I get morning wood.

Since then, I have been with 4 partners and every time, i tend to keep myself secondary and keep her and her emotions first. I stop my daily routine, i pause my aspirations. I still know what I wanna do, but whenever I'm with someone, i pause it and like that, months pass by. I am not keeping promises to myself. That deep seated regret is what I sleep with.

Now it's been a year since I haven't felt relaxed physically and mentally. I work, have a stable job, workout regularly, eat healthy.

But sexually, I panic in sex, thinking desperately about making her please, making sure I'm the best sex she ever had. And mostly I can't get it up because I'm too much in my head and I prematurely ejaculate.

There was a time last year when I felt confident with myself, and the sex became super amazing without trying. I could go 30-40 mins a session and about 3-4 times a day and almost everyday. I had the same routine this time also in January and February, but after that, it fell drastically to barely a minute. We discuss everything and she tells me about her past, and there's this thing in my head where I want to be her best sex, and I want to explore everything with her. Even she told me about why I'm trying too hard, but I can't help relax myself.

Please help me relax my mind.

I am 28M and engaged to my fiance 28F after dating her for 6 months. I had a 3 year long relationship when I was 21-22-23 and then I was with 2 other people for the short term. My fiance had a 3 year long serious relationship when she was 24-25-26 and then the guy said no to marrying her. She felt used and took almost a year to get back.

We spoke about everything. I am confident in every other way and the sex life was amazing in the start, and as we spoke about everything, sex became a competition for me. The questions I have in my mind are - "I want to be her best" "i should last very long" "i should make her tap out" "what if I can't please her the way she has been pleased" "will she judge me if I cum early"

These thoughts have put me in such pressure that I am not able to last long (barely a minute). Getting hard is also a problem coz I'm so in my head.

I could last 30-40 mins in sex and more including foreplay and oral. Now I'm spending more time in oral because I'm scared about it, what if I cum early?

I feel very tensed and my body is also feeling very rigid with these stupid thoughts. I'm not able to enjoy sex.

How to get my mind relaxed? How to last longer? Physically I'm fit but mentally I'm very tensed. How to deal with this? (Coz she also asked me, "why are you so tensed, why so much pressure, it's okay)