u/Cautious-Kiwi9406

Trying to maximize space in my garden… would 2 feet apart be too close?

I was hoping to paint my kid’s bedroom today. My dumb ass caulked all around the baseboards and window trim with Shermax and started painting in an hour, before realizing the recommended 4+ hour dry time for shermax (thought it would be 30-60 minutes like regular caulk). Is it guaranteed to crack? What can I do to fix this?

TW: self harm/mental health

95% of the time, I’m able to mask and/or use a self-regulating strategy to avoid reaching the brink of a meltdown when I’m in a highly stressful situation.

But for the remaining <5% of the time… it’s BAD. Something snaps, I dissociate and completely lose control of my action. It’s always self-directed (never aggression towards others). Banging my head against the wall, slashing at myself with my nails, screaming something over and over incoherently. It only lasts 5-10 minutes. Then I’m completely depleted, minimally verbal for a few hours, and usually sleep like 10 hours if I’m able. Then lower than usual energy, detached feeling the next couple days.

I hate when this happens. I’m a highly educated professional, and manage a stressful/mentally demanding job. Losing control like this makes me feel so ashamed. I had an especially bad episode last weekend, where I gave myself a black eye (thankfully not bad enough for others to notice) and severe headache. It virtually only happens at home (generally caused by double empathy problem and/or other communication differences with my allistic/adhd spouse, combined with the stress of raising ND kids). He doesn’t really understand, and is not too sympathetic to my meltdowns (I think he feels I am making them up… when it’s absolutely outside my control and a source of intense embarrassment and shame).

When in the moment, and I can feel the stress building… what do you do to bring yourself back from the edge? Any script or nonverbal cue you use to signal to your SO to let you leave the situation? Or other strategy that works for you?