u/CaterpillarNo3385

Im looking for some perspective on a relationship that recently ended. We were together for a short but very intense period, and since the breakup, I’ve discovered that almost everything I believed about her was a calculated fabrication. Throughout the relationship, I struggled with what I thought was "retroactive jealousy" and intense anxiety. She presented herself as a very "pure," innocent person with high values, which made me feel like my gut feelings and suspicions were irrational or toxic. She consistently gaslit me, making me feel like I was the problem for not trusting her. After the breakup, I found concrete evidence that she had been systematically lying from day one.Her "innocent" persona was a performance; she was actively seeking validation from strangers and engaging in behaviors she explicitly told me she would never do.The timeline of her past that she gave me was completely manipulated to hide the truth.My "anxiety" wasn't a personal flaw—it was my intuition reacting to the constant, subtle dishonesty I was sensing but couldn't prove at the time. I’m currently dealing with a mix of visceral disgust and shock. It’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that I was in love with a version of a person that never actually existed. I stayed true to my values and integrity, while she used deception as a tool for manipulation.I’d love to hear from anyone who has dealt with a partner who lived a "double life" or used a false persona. How did you handle the realization that the relationship was built on a lie? How do you learn to trust your intuition again after being gaslit for so long?

Relationship Breakdown: Deception and GaslightingI’m looking for some perspective on a relationship that recently ended. We were together for a short but very intense period, and since the breakup, I’ve discovered that almost everything I believed about her was a calculated fabrication.The Situation: Throughout the relationship, I struggled with what I thought was "retroactive jealousy" and intense anxiety. She presented herself as a very "pure," innocent person with high values, which made me feel like my gut feelings and suspicions were irrational or toxic. She consistently gaslit me, making me feel like I was the problem for not trusting her.The Reality: After the breakup, I found concrete evidence that she had been systematically lying from day one.Her "innocent" persona was a performance; she was actively seeking validation from strangers and engaging in behaviors she explicitly told me she would never do.The timeline of her past that she gave me was completely manipulated to hide the truth.My "anxiety" wasn't a personal flaw—it was my intuition reacting to the constant, subtle dishonesty I was sensing but couldn't prove at the time.The Struggle: I’m currently dealing with a mix of visceral disgust and shock. It’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that I was in love with a version of a person that never actually existed. I stayed true to my values and integrity, while she used deception as a tool for manipulation.I’d love to hear from anyone who has dealt with a partner who lived a "double life" or used a false persona. How did you handle the realization that the relationship was built on a lie? How do you learn to trust your intuition again after being gaslit for so long?

Ok so i was in my first relationship with this one girl who was beautiful and amazing and so innocent and cute and she broke up with me two and a half weeks ago because of my retroactive jealousy.
I will tell you guys the story at first I thought she was innocent and would never hookup with nobody and she told me this as well but then she told me a story about her giving head to some random guy after a party two weeks before we met and when i heard that story i just couldn’t believe she did this and it hunted me so much and gave me anxiety and i fought with her about this for no reason for a couple weeks.
And then I started accepting her and moved on from this story and had peace with it for like a week and when I finally felt peace with it she told me she was going to the same club with her girlfriends and when i heard that that triggered me so much i was anxious af for two days until i talked with her about this and how i feel and this turned into a fight again and she told me that she loves me but can’t stay in this relationship because shes afraid that i will keep having this issue and it wont change and if she stays she would get more hurt in the future so she rather get hurt but not as much right now then if she stays and we will keep fighting about this in the future and then she broke up with me.
Right now we are in No Contact for 17 days and i have so much regret that i kept fighting with her about something she couldn’t manage and was only in my head and i just want her to come back and i miss her so much i just don’t no what to do.
PLEASE HELP