me (17) female got broken up with by my ex-boyfriend (17), we dated for six months and there were things he did that made me question myself a lot, he was a very religious and obedient son so he had sometimes mentioned how his parents would scold him for dating me and that he thought he was doing something wrong. Both our parents are strict, mine less that his so i tried being understanding. and by saying his parents were strict he did not do a lot of things.
we both kept the relation a secret from our parents so again i was understanding. at the start of the relationship i would ask him to buy me stuff and do things which i did realize that i was expecting a high school kid to do a lot so i tried to back away.
for my birthday i had asked him to meet up and he promised me he would but ultimately on the day he said his parents refused as he could not tell them he was going to meet his girlfriend, i understood that and went to meet him in a park near his house.
for valentines our skl offers kids to buy roses or candy bags for people, the roses get bought quickly so i rushed to get him that but he didnt and after i asked him about it he got me a candy bag because they were out of roses. for valentines i also wrote him a letter and made him matching bracelets cuz he asked for that. he didnt until i asked him to write me a letter which he gave me a week after with a drawing of me he drew. i was mad and i told him but i did also forgive him because i knew his parents were extremely strict.
then closer to our 6-month anniversary his mum sends me a text telling us to break up which was devastating but i proposed the idea that we could break up but keep dating in our head or date again when his mother allowed, he agreed to that.
afterward on that day i kept calling him my friend and at the end of the day he kissed me, so i thought everything was fine, the following day he back cold and didnt talk to me , the next day was the same but on the bus home (which is always very crowded)he kept holding me close and we held hands the entire time.
after this our 2 week holidays began, which started out ok and we would talk like normal and he would often refer to me as a girlfriends even tho we had agreed to "break up" but during the second week he again went cold over text and started saying that i would find a better person to be with which confused me, two days later he said he wanted to break up, that he didnt love me but still wanted to be friends.
i was shocked so i begged him to explain for the next two days before giving up and agreeing to be friends. when skl started aging he ignored me, even though he wanted to be friends he ignored me. i tried to ask him bout it but he was just being rude every time he spoke to me.
i asked one of our mutual friends if he had sensed that my ex was being overly rude to me and our friend said that my ex said that i was the rude one
the weekend before we had our prom so i was trying to act normal and we were going to take pictures 2gether. i usually playfully hit my guy friends as im known as a man hater so i did that to my ex and he made it seem like i was the most disgusting person to ever touch him (mind u before the holidays started or his mums text he was kissing me and feeling me up (i did consent to as i did truly like him)) so i tried to talk it out with him but he said that he had lost all respect and blocked me.
we haven't talked since but he has left me questioning a lot of things as everything was very sudden. there may be things i did that were inconsiderate but i truly tried my best so i am very confused.
after he said he lost all respect i started telling my friends bout it and it made me feel bad as when he broke up with me, he said he didnt want me to talk shit bout him, so ive been feeling very guilty. we both still wear the bracelet i made us for Valentine's Day. so that makes me even more confused even though his actions do completely tell me he doesnt like me anymore i still dont understand everything and i do want an explanation. (ALSO, HES THE ONE WHO LIKED ME FIRST).
ik my writing can be confusing so if there's any question please ask, i really needed to get this off my chest as im very confused how the situation turned out.
him losing feelings is not my issue it's the timing of it all and how things went on. i still do really like and want to be his friend but he's pushed me very far away. and even though i do really like him i would never go back to him because of the way he treated me
OH also he didnt get me anything for my birthday cuz he couldnt due to his parents but one of our mutual friends who's a girl (she my close friend and has a boyfriend) birthday was yesterday and he got a pack of cup noodles. before we even started dating (or i liked him) he used to think he liked this friend of mine even though everyone knew she would never like him. and he said that he always kind of that he liked me from the year before we started dating.
i just remembered that the friend who told me that my ex was thinking that i was rude would frequently say during our relationship (as whenever these events would take place i would want to tell my ex but i always wanted to make sure i wasn't overreacting so i would talk to this friend) that my ex didnt really know how relationships worked and that i should give him time.
anyway that's the rant. and i do still feel like an asshole. am i?