u/CardiologistKey429

:) checking in

Venting on reddit again 😕I try so hard to “repair” my relationship with myself. But ocd keeps destrying that. Its gotten a bit dangerous. I feel im worthless at times. Then i pick myself up and try to feel better only for ocd to hurt my self esteem wgain its genueinly traumatizing. Im mentally and physically tierd.

Idk what to say but you guys i was genuely feeling alot alot better barely did compulsions like none or one the past days and deacrse in depresseivee mood and more productivity . Just fir me to just freak out over a trigger and compulsions a couple times today and im feeling really depressive. Im tied . IM TIERD. I wanna be oksy . But i jusf have to fall that hard? Im trying to be patient and stay.

I noticed how ocd isnt just about managing anxiety . Its about managing greif aswell. I understand that i have it but can lt help but feel guilty because of ocd. It really cuts deep. It feels like im greiving and managing how to live.

I wanted to ask what are some of the ways yall focus on studying when yall get intrusive thoguts. Unfourtantley my ocd makes me procrasitnate. Thanks guys!!! Also wanted to share a huge win. I didn’t act on compulsions for yesterday and half of today so far.

No compulsions for half the day may be thr first night in months where i wont cry. I feel kinda peacful nd accomplished