u/Capital_Pomelo_2772

Hi everyone so as the text says I need advice. So a few weeks ago this girl let’s call her Mary went on several dates and had a lot in common but now that we’re official it’s like she doesn’t want to continue like when we first started she would be more active text me more and everything but now she’s like super dry when texting super distant idk what’s the problem I’ve tried to be a good boyfriend but she’s not even trying anymore. She did tell me if I wanted to break up because she’s the kind of person who demonstrates love in a different way not in the same way I do…. I show my love by saying good morning texting, flowers, chocolates, bringing coffe to her. But she’s dry and doesn’t really give me anything only on her last trip to Cancun she brought me something from there. And I think I know why maybe ? She is being distant with me or dry …. On August 26 I’ll be leaving our country to go study to Madrid and she knows that I told her at the beginning of our relationship but it’s weird because just yesterday things got a bit heated and we texted about doing it….. but today super dry not even wanting to text I asked her why she was acting like that and she said no everything is fine but still super dry so I guessed maybe she was tired or maybe just not sure if she wants to be with me anymore. I texted her, called her and all I got was a am with my parents talk to you later bye. And that’s it haven’t talked since. Maybe it’s over ?? Or am overthinking I really don’t understand anymore what is happening.

I don’t understand what am doing wrong… every time I try to be with someone…. I get hurt….. is it me ?

I hope someone can help me I would appreciate any advice.

Hi everyone, I’d really appreciate some honest advice.
I’m 19, and for the past year I’ve been trying to rebuild myself after a really bad relationship where I got cheated on and lied to. Since then, I’ve been going to therapy, focusing on school (aeronautics), and trying to improve myself.
A few months ago, I met a girl (let’s call her Mary). She’s very different from anyone I’ve met—kind, shy, and honestly amazing. We started talking, went on a few dates, and I felt genuinely happy for the first time in a long time. It felt real and different.
We got close pretty quickly. She even told me she loved me before going on a trip to Cancun with her friends. While she was there, some of my friends told me she was cheating and even showed me videos—but I later noticed the girl in the video didn’t even match her (different hair, etc.). She strongly denies cheating and says she wouldn’t do that, especially since she’s been cheated on before.
Still… I can’t fully shake the doubt. My past relationship really messed with my trust.
Also, while she was in Cancun, she posted photos of herself in a bikini. My friends started making comments and got in my head, saying she just wants attention. When I told her how it made me feel, she deleted most of them, which I appreciated—but I still feel insecure about it and don’t know if that’s something I need to work on myself.
Right now, things feel confusing. When we’re together, she seems genuinely happy—she smiles a lot, brought me small gifts from her trip, and shows affection in her own way.
But at the same time:
She keeps asking me things like “Do you want to break up?”

She says she loves me but doesn’t know how to show it

She’s very insecure about me leaving soon

Some context:
I’m leaving the country in August for about 2 years

I show love very openly (letters, compliments, effort)

I think she feels like she’s not enough because she expresses it differently

Recently, even small situations turn into her asking about breaking up, which makes me feel like something isn’t right

So now I feel stuck. Part of me feels like she really cares about me, but another part of me feels like something is off—and I don’t know if that’s my intuition or just my past experience and outside opinions affecting me.
So I guess my questions are:
How can I tell if my doubts are coming from past experiences or from real issues?

Are there red flags here, or does this sound like insecurity on both sides?

Is it worth continuing something serious if I’m leaving soon?

How do I handle her insecurity about not knowing how to show love?

I really like her, but I don’t want to get hurt again or make the wrong decision.
Thanks to anyone who reads this.