u/Candid-Palpitation16

So I( 25M ) had to break up with my fiance of 2 years ( 23F ) because she was starting to become really toxic towards me for dealing with medical issues out of my control.

I know I’m just a stranger online but I’m not the only one who noticed it in my circle. I don’t want to get into details as she stalked my other account and might be looking here idk.

Basically we had an argument after i called her out on her treatment towards and this prompted her to move out without telling me or our roommates. She refuses to have an actual conversation about it and ghosts me for 2 days, so I break up with her over text.

She still hasn’t said a word since ghosting me, but since then:

\\- She didn’t block me until I took down photos of us

\\- she made a TikTok a few weeks later on her public account admitting to trying to stalk my anonymous Reddit account and claiming I lied about the breakup (I’m not perfect in this situation either but I didn’t try to exaggerate at all)

\\- I made a post calling her out for trying to say I lied and making the situation more public than it had to be.

\\- shortly after, her TikTok is nuked, all videos gone with a lil sad message in the bio

Now idk if that last part happened because she saw or heard of what I said (her friends definitely saw the last call out post I made) but is it bad that I’m kinda hoping she really is sad or depressed?

I mean for crying out loud, she treated me like a jerk when I was dealing with MEDICAL ISSUES, like fuck you. You don’t get my sympathy anymore because that’s just disgusting to me. And then trying to drag it out to the mud publicly? Double fuck you.

And knowing her like I do, based on her TikTok bio she’s probably going through it, and I couldn’t be happier

TL;DR:

Girl treated me like a jerk for having medical issues, and seems to have crashed out a bit after I dumped her over it I

M27 here. Just got out of a relationship and I just need to get these fears and thoughts out of my head.

I was originally the side guy in an open relationship. She moved from guy to guy and our relationship was physical. I developed feelings but based on her pattern I hid my feelings away and expected her to trash me at any point once she found a better side dude.

But she ended up leaving the open relationship to be with me. She even proposed. I felt special.

Then some complications came up in my life, outside of my control and she was a jerk about it. I had to dump her because it was affecting me heavily.

What I’m about to say after is probably the worst train of thought I’ve had so far, but I need it out there. Yes, I know this will probably sound bad. But this is a throwaway and as much as I hate having these thoughts I need to put them somewhere:

Idk why it matters so much to me. But I hate the idea that women have to be dishonest about things like whether the sex was really good or not. I hate that if I fall in love with someone there is a chance I will be the person they settle for sexually and eventually get bored of me and my okay sized member while it fizzles out into old age.

I’m afraid that while they tell me I’m doing good or whatever it’s just a lie and they’re thinking about an ex who’s bigger, or gave them more pleasure but I’m just a nice enough dorky guy that’s stable so who cares if I’m actually pleasing you better. Atleast I’m safe right?

I can’t even trust the past experiences I’ve had with women. Oh yea somehow despite the fact that you’ve slept with tons of men I’m the only one who made you cum from PIV. Fat chance.

When I stop having sex with a partner that shit leaves my mind as I entered relationships.

But after being mistreated by my ex yknow what fuck it. If men are just bad at sex and have fragile egos that need to be coddled then I will never care if I’m a woman’s best anymore. If I end up dating anyone again I’m not gonna give them the effort. They can leave me and the cycle repeats who cares. If they wanna play these games then it’s only fair.

I’ll just admit it since I’ve had time to think about it. I had better sex with other people than my ex. She sucked at blowjobs. Terrible at them. Did that bother me before? No. But yknow what who cares. Maybe I sucked too and you lied. It’s all fair game.

Honestly at this point I might just save money to get escorts. Atleast I know they’re lying and I don’t have to commit myself to the eventual doom of being the dick they settled for and stopped fucking.

Yes I want love. But sex is important to me and I know it’s impossible to be someone’s best sex or whatever but I wish I was the best for whatever partner I end up with. Based on everything I’ve been seeing I’ve just accepted that I’m never going to be that man.

Just to clarify these are intrusive thoughts. I don’t like having these thoughts pop in my head but I can’t just tell my friends this stuff because they’ll think I’m some insane misogynistic freak even though I don’t want these thoughts at all

M27 here. Just got out of a relationship and I just need to get these fears and thoughts out of my head.

I was originally the side guy in an open relationship. She moved from guy to guy and our relationship was physical. I developed feelings but based on her pattern I hid my feelings away and expected her to trash me at any point once she found a better side dude.

But she ended up leaving the open relationship to be with me. She even proposed. I felt special.

Then some complications came up in my life, outside of my control and she was a jerk about it. I had to dump her because it was affecting me heavily.

What I’m about to say after is probably the worst train of thought I’ve had so far, but I need it out there. Yes, I know this will probably sound bad. But this is a throwaway and as much as I hate having these thoughts I need to put them somewhere:

Idk why it matters so much to me. But I hate the idea that women have to be dishonest about things like whether the sex was really good or not. I hate that if I fall in love with someone there is a chance I will be the person they settle for sexually and eventually get bored of me and my okay sized member while it fizzles out into old age.

I’m afraid that while they tell me I’m doing good or whatever it’s just a lie and they’re thinking about an ex who’s bigger, or gave them more pleasure but I’m just a nice enough dorky guy that’s stable so who cares if I’m actually pleasing you better. Atleast I’m safe right?

I can’t even trust the past experiences I’ve had with women. Oh yea somehow despite the fact that you’ve slept with tons of men I’m the only one who made you cum from PIV. Fat chance.

When I stop having sex with a partner that shit leaves my mind as I entered relationships.

But after being mistreated by my ex yknow what fuck it. If men are just bad at sex and have fragile egos that need to be coddled then I will never care if I’m a woman’s best anymore. If I end up dating anyone again I’m not gonna give them the effort. They can leave me and the cycle repeats who cares. If they wanna play these games then it’s only fair.

I’ll just admit it since I’ve had time to think about it. I had better sex with other people than my ex. She sucked at blowjobs. Terrible at them. Did that bother me before? No. But yknow what who cares. Maybe I sucked too and you lied. It’s all fair game.

Honestly at this point I might just save money to get escorts. Atleast I know they’re lying and I don’t have to commit myself to the eventual doom of being the dick they settled for and stopped fucking.

Yes I want love. But sex is important to me and I know it’s impossible to be someone’s best sex or whatever but I wish I was the best for whatever partner I end up with. Based on everything I’ve been seeing I’ve just accepted that I’m never going to be that man.

Just to clarify these are intrusive thoughts. I don’t like having these thoughts pop in my head but I can’t just tell my friends this stuff because they’ll think I’m some insane misogynistic freak even though I don’t want these thoughts at all