u/CampaignHaunting7062

I, 24m, am getting an arranged wedding in a few monthds in the summer. Had an “engagement” almost a year ago and it’s just been getting the house ready, full refurbishment, wedding shopping, etc all that stuff. I’m feel anxious and doubtful if I want to go through with the marriage now.

Thing is now as time is getting closer I’m having second thoughts and just doubts about getting married. One is that I graduate in the summer a few weeks before my wedding and I still haven’t got a proper job. I’m working at the moment and alhamdullah earning, but I don’t know if it’s enough for two people. I still live with family so we share bills and stuff but even my timing for my job is annoying with early starts and nights (I’m talking 2/3am starts and shifts like 5pm-5am). I’m either getting rejected in interviews or just not hearing back and it’s just causing me so much stress not having a stable job for when I get married.

Another thing is I feel like I’ve wasted so much of my time younger that I won’t be able to get back when I’m married. I wanted to dedicate time to seeking Islamic knowledge, even travelling etc but being married it’s just gonna hold me back and make it difficult. There’s loads of things I’ve wanted to do but now I feel like I won’t be able to do them since I’ll have to take on more responsibilities.

Even her, she’s a good match and all but just gives me moody vibes. We’ve barely talked during this whole engagement thing and I feel like I don’t know her at all. I get mixed vibes, sometimes she’ll talk sometimes she won’t so I don’t know what to think. She could be just practicing modesty and keeping distance since we’re not technically mehrams yet which makes sense but my mind is just overthinking and telling me she doesn’t want to go through with it etc.

Also the advices I’m getting from people like “don’t be a door mat and let her walk over you” and “establish your authority first” etc just makes me see marriage as one big headache of a game.
Maybe I’m just getting nervous since the time is coming closer and shaytan is trying to cause me anxiety and confusion through waswas. Has anyone ever felt the same before the got married and how did you overcome it?

I, 24m, am getting an arranged wedding in a few monthds in the summer. Had an “engagement” almost a year ago and it’s just been getting the house ready, full refurbishment, wedding shopping, etc all that stuff. I’m feel anxious and doubtful if I want to go through with the marriage now.

Thing is now as time is getting closer I’m having second thoughts and just doubts about getting married. One is that I graduate in the summer a few weeks before my wedding and I still haven’t got a proper job. I’m working at the moment and alhamdullah earning, but I don’t know if it’s enough for two people. I still live with family so we share bills and stuff but even my timing for my job is annoying with early starts and nights (I’m talking 2/3am starts and shifts like 5pm-5am). I’m either getting rejected in interviews or just not hearing back and it’s just causing me so much stress not having a stable job for when I get married.

Another thing is I feel like I’ve wasted so much of my time younger that I won’t be able to get back when I’m married. I wanted to dedicate time to seeking Islamic knowledge, even travelling etc but being married it’s just gonna hold me back and make it difficult. There’s loads of things I’ve wanted to do but now I feel like I won’t be able to do them since I’ll have to take on more responsibilities.

Even her, she’s a good match and all but just gives me moody vibes. We’ve barely talked during this whole engagement thing and I feel like I don’t know her at all. I get mixed vibes, sometimes she’ll talk sometimes she won’t so I don’t know what to think. She could be just practicing modesty and keeping distance since we’re not technically mehrams yet which makes sense but my mind is just overthinking and telling me she doesn’t want to go through with it etc.

Also the advices I’m getting from people like “don’t be a door mat and let her walk over you” and “establish your authority first” etc just makes me see marriage as one big headache of a game.
Maybe I’m just getting nervous since the time is coming closer and shaytan is trying to cause me anxiety and confusion through waswas. Has anyone ever felt the same before the got married and how did you overcome it?