u/Busy_Studio_5336

Is asking for help with costs even worth it?

I'm having an internal conflict about asking my kids dad for help with the financial costs of guitar lessons. I'm leaning more towards just doing it myself, but not sure.

Our teen child has been playing guitar for a yr now and loves it. He has raw talent and shows a lot of promise in it.

Here's the kicker. During that yr, I've asked my ex 3x for help as I was paying $160 a month for 1hr lessons once a week. He stated he never got asked before I registered him, so he wasn't going to help. During that yr of lessons, his dad drove him once and insulted me for not taking him (I was working as was my adult son, who would normally take his brother if i couldnt. contacting my ex for help is always the very last option, with the option before asking him is canceling, but my son really wanted to go.). Our son felt he needed to take a break from playing and has taken 5 months off, he now wants to get back into it. I feel like it'll be a waste of my time to ask him again, before I register our son, since I know he'll automatically say no. I'm currently out of work and this cost will affect us, but I want to nurture his real talent and he doesn't ask for much. He's a good kid. I'll find a way to make sure he can do his lessons, and I have a 3rd person i can call now for help with transportation so I never need to ask my ex ever again.

I've also started litigation against my ex, he's about to be served. I want a paper trail of refusals since I'm going in asking for help with other expenses he's consistently refused.

Is this worth asking him for help with if I'm going to go ahead and do this for our son with or without his dad's help? There's a good chance I won't be awarded costs for this when I do litigate bc it's an extra curricular, not a "need".

reddit.com
u/Busy_Studio_5336 — 6 days ago

I'm having an internal conflict about asking my kids dad for help with the financial costs of guitar lessons. I'm leaning more towards just doing it myself, but not sure.

Our teen child has been playing guitar for a yr now and loves it. He has raw talent and shows a lot of promise in it.

Here's the kicker. During that yr, I've asked my ex 3x for help as I was paying $160 a month for 1hr lessons once a week. He stated he never got asked before I registered him. During that yr of lessons, his dad drove him once and called me a deadbeat mom for not taking him (I'm the only parent involved in our sons life regularly and was working until midnight that day and my adult son was also working. His dad was a last minute call). Our son felt he needed to take a break from playing and has taken 5 months off, he now wants to get back into it. I feel like it'll be a waste of my time to ask him again, before I register our son, since I know he'll automatically say no. I'm currently out of work and this cost will affect us, but I want to nurture his real talent and he doesn't ask for much. He's a good kid. I'll find a way to make sure he can do his lessons.

I've also started litigation against my ex, he's about to be served. I want a paper trail of refusals since I'm going in asking for help with other expenses he's consistently refused.

Is this worth asking him for help with if I'm going to go ahead and do this for our son with or without his dad's help? There's a good chance I won't be awarded costs for this when I do litigate bc it's an extra curricular, not a "need".

reddit.com
u/Busy_Studio_5336 — 6 days ago