u/Busy_Hair6175

my bf (M 22) and i (F 22) have been together coming up on a year. LDR. 1hr 40mins apart. i have 2 kids. he has one. we see each other on the weekends.

TLDR: cant agree with moving situations involving moving into together. i love him but the separation is getting to be too much.

we have recently started talking about what living together looks like. he went back and forth, i went back and forth, and i eventually came to the conclusion that me moving to his area was not feasible. my kids are already established in a school, my job has potential for me to move up but if i took the same job in his area id not only be taking a pay cut (let’s not even talk about today’s economy) but starting over. not to mention, i don’t think it’s fair to move my kids that far away from their dad. his kid would still be at the same distance from the other parent and she hasn’t started school yet. i also don’t want to move from my family, but that is something i would lean on, its their dad im concerned about. his area is also very secluded, 45 mins to a nearest walmart. have to leave town for a gas station. my apartment also has room for all of us temporarily, while his single wide does not.

he is “willing” to move, but active steps are not being taken. last night he confessed he will move, but he won’t move this far from his siblings (they are 16, 15, & 13). he also doesn’t want to move into my apartment and wants a fresh start, and doesn’t like how close my house & my exs are and he doesn’t want to live this close to my ex. valid. but i don’t want us to just jump into a house when we haven’t even figured out what living together is like. i’ve told him we can work our way to better and starting small isn’t bad. he also refuses to leave agriculture, but i don’t know any farmers in my area to get him with. the farmer he works with now has him working ridiculous hours, pays him horribly.

i’m stuck. i love him dearly. he is great. but i don’t want to continue to live separately and going through really hard sundays and saying goodbye. i’ve noticed im becoming resentful and mean during the week when we aren’t together. i’m the one who usually travels too and gas, miles going up and the driving is getting to be too much. i’m worried we are not going to get this dilemma figured out. any

advice?

my bf and i have been together coming up on a year. LDR. 1hr 40mins apart. i have 2 kids. he has one. we see each other on the weekends.

we have recently started talking about what living together looks like. he went back and forth, i went back and forth, and i eventually came to the conclusion that me moving to his area was not feasible. my kids are already established in a school, my job has potential for me to move up but if i took the same job in his area id not only be taking a pay cut (let’s not even talk about today’s economy) but starting over. not to mention, i don’t think it’s fair to move my kids that far away from their dad. his kid would still be at the same distance from the other parent and she hasn’t started school yet. i also don’t want to move from my family, but that is something i would lean on, its their dad im concerned about. his area is also very secluded, 45 mins to a nearest walmart. have to leave town for a gas station. my apartment also has room for all of us temporarily, while his single wide does not.

he is “willing” to move, but active steps are not being taken. last night he confessed he will move, but he won’t move this far from his siblings (they are 16, 15, & 13). he also doesn’t want to move into my apartment and wants a fresh start, and doesn’t like how close my house & my exs are and he doesn’t want to live this close to my ex. valid. but i don’t want us to just jump into a house when we haven’t even figured out what living together is like. i’ve told him we can work our way to better and starting small isn’t bad. he also refuses to leave agriculture, but i don’t know any farmers in my area to get him with. the farmer he works with now has him working ridiculous hours, pays him horribly.

i’m stuck. i love him dearly. he is great. but i don’t want to continue to live separately and going through really hard sundays and saying goodbye. i’ve noticed im becoming resentful and mean during the week when we aren’t together. i’m the one who usually travels too and gas, miles going up and the driving is getting to be too much. i’m worried we are not going to get this dilemma figured out. any

advice?