u/BusyMathematician844

I'm in the middle of a move - it's a transfer I requested as my old office was in a pretty difficult, renter-unfriendly town (I encountered a lot of classism and a very difficult housing market, and was nearly homeless at one point, among other things). So I am hopeful that this transfer will be an overall good thing. However, one small, nice thing about my old office was its location in a beautiful area. It was right next to a public-access pond with incredible landscaping, picnic tables where I could sit outside and eat lunch, I would walk around the block or around the pond during breaks etc.

I'm cautiously optimistic that the new town will overall be a better fit, but the new office is a modern, utilitarian building surrounded by a strip mall and parking lots. Even if I wanted to sit outside and stare at the concrete, there isn't any outdoor seating.

I'm obviously grateful to have a job and for the opportunity to transfer, but I'm struggling with the change in work environment. I'll still have the same job, the same job responsibilities, and the same manager and coworkers, just a vastly different office.

Ideas for overcoming the transition from an office that's surrounded by greenery to an office that feels like a concrete wall?

Had some not-great experiences with CBT, then my new therapist asked if I wanted to try it. It didn't quite sit right with me, although I couldn't put my finger on why. I looked into it some more (including googling "problems with CBT therapy") and I have to say it was validating to realize it's not just me.

Now I'm to the point where I don't understand why CBT doesn't come with more cautions. In my area, therapists just apply it willy nilly and don't appear to listen when the client shows signs of being frustrated or hurt by it.

So far I think my single biggest problem with CBT is it doesn't acknowledge the fact that some negative thoughts are accurate (i.e., not distorted). Some people have experienced abuse, prejudice, etc, etc. Their "negative" thoughts are accurate reflections of what they've experienced or observed. Attempting to get the client to change those thoughts can come across as gaslighting or even victim blaming. The therapists I've seen also don't take the client's ethnic, cultural, or socioeconomic factors into account (or if they do, it's only very superficially), nor do they take into account certain challenges associated with disabilities or chronic health conditions.

Other issues include that it focuses on symptom management rather than getting to the root cause or historical context of a thought or behavior. Some clients might benefit from exploring these deeper causes. Personally, I've told therapists that I want to explore deeper, get to the root cause, etc. but they just respond by giving me more CBT worksheets (side note: I actually welcome worksheets/homework. I just want them to be relevant)

I'm not sure how to convey this last point but I think I've experienced a lack of personal responsibility (for lack of a better term) with this modality. I've said things like "I am human. I mess up sometimes. This is ok (as in, it doesn't make me a "bad person"), but it means that sometimes I need to fix things, go apologize to people, etc. So I want to learn how to do this." But instead of helping me learn some relationship skills, accountability skills, or apology skills or something, the therapist just tries to find some cognitive distortion in what I said. I understand that for someone who over-apologizes, CBT might help, but it seems it can too easily make people think they never need to apologize, or it can frustrate people who already have a decent self-esteem and just want to work on better relationship skills.

Not a therapist. I've done CBT so much and it's either been just.. neutrally not helpful or it's been harmful. I've done it with a few different therapists (so it wasn't just one therapist) and I looked into CBT some more since then. I've read about what it is (and is not) recommended for, and about some of the issues with it. I concluded that it doesn't seem to fit my situation. I've also experienced many of the issues I saw mentioned.

The problem is, all the therapists around me seem to specialize in CBT and I'm at a loss as to how to find someone who can do something more appropriate for me. I've tried explaining what I need (skills training, for one thing) but everyone keeps trying to do CBT and/or vagus nerve work.

The one thing I can try (that I haven't done yet) is just state up front that I don't want CBT. I know this is obviously the most logical thing to do, but based on prior experience, I don't know how well this will work?