Hi guys, I just took a final, got 30/30 on it. It was the last thing I needed to complete for the semester. So I just finished my first year of college after having to wait years to even consider college because i was too ill, and I can't tell my parents. My dad has been MIA for hours, presumably off with his mistress somewhere, and my moms in a mental facility, only allowed 2 phonecalls a day. Earlier this week my dad said that after finals which he thinks are next week, we (me and mom) need to be moved out. So if I told him he'd just want me gone sooner. This year has been the hardest of my life. I got straight A's through it all but I can't even celebrate. I don't even know if I'm going to be able to continue school when next fall rolls around. I don't know if my mom will be alive or if my dad will still be in my life by then.
u/Bunnyburner78
Hi. I (23F) have made a few posts about my dad having an affair. I believe the last one was about a month ago, things were looking up, they were in counseling and all that jazz, and then my mom found a love note and a ring. Fast forward to a week ago, mom was in the hospital for some health problems, she got discharged suddenly and dad was SUPER pissy about it. turns out its because the day she came home, he had an appointment to check out an apartment. He put down a deposit for it, or just took the money out, idk. Mom ended up back in the hospital for the same health stuff, but this time she must have said something because they sent her to a mental health facility. Its been awful. She just keeps begging me to let her go/saying that the minute they send her home shes gonna kill herself. One day she even called me & my sister to tell us that we're the reasons shes going to kill herself, she hates us & never wants to speak to us ever again. They ended up calling the police on her, pressing charges because she was fighting them, etc etc etc. Awful, but that was med related. The past few days shes just been begging me to ask him a million things, because she swears up and down having the answers will make her feel better/maybe he'll give me different answers, but when I do its either the same answers hes given her or an argument. He told her he hates her, never wants to speak to her ever again, has never loved her, etc. He decided to not take the apartment but he will not tell us when we (her and i) need to be moved out by. Today we were told that they are restricting her phonecalls/visits. I do not see a world where she makes it out of there, out of a facility, or makes it back home, alive, ever. She was already severely underweight before going in, and has not eaten more than a bag of chips in a week. My dad does not care, hes been "working" weird hours and disappearing to go smoke for hours at a time. He couldnt care less that shes probably actively dying, hes just off with his mistress.
I have no idea what to do. I don't know if I'm supposed to be packing, we currently have an in home daycare that we started for the sole purpose of me being able to stay home with mom incase she got sick or something, but I do not know what im supposed to tell those parents, should I just tell them we have to close now to give them a heads up to find other childcare providers? How much do I give into her "just ask him this for me"? When shes implying that if I dont ask him something that shes going to let herself die, how do I say no? I've told her multiply times that her health& wellbeing are my priority, I can't keep asking him all these questions, but she just says her health&wellbeing are dependent on the answers to the questions. I don't want to lose both of my parents. I don't want this to kill her. Is there anything I can do, anything I can say to her? I don't even know how to take care of myself. I have finals next week, closing up my first year of college, and I'm afraid that I need to drop the classes I have for fall 2026 because I don't even know where I'm going to be living, what my job will be, etc.