u/Brilliant_Mammoth741

I 21 M have been dating this girl 22 F for 2 years and have been struggling in understand my relationship. I feel like my gf only loves me when I have something to offer her or when she needs something from me and she can be extremely heartless at times in my opinion.

For example, she constantly hits me when she’s upset, we argued over something that wasn’t that big of a deal I admit, but during the argument she would hit me if I started asking her if she was being sincere in what she said and if she genuinly felt the way she did. Cause she felt like I was attacking her, and at one point she started hitting me hard so I held her arm back cause it started to hurt. And when I do hold her arms, she’ll resort to harder hits or start pulling my hair and poking my eyes. She also states that she’s scared that I’ll hit her cause I’m a man even though she’s the only one that’s been putting hands on me for 2 years. That being said, she stated that she felt like I was abusing her by doing that saying I don’t know how to control my strength. Then if I don’t apologize, which I always end up doing and she never does, she won’t ever talk to me till I decide to talk back.

I have tried sitting down with her to talk about this behavior of hitting me, and it always turns into an argument about what I did and it’s my fault that she does that. I simply answer that im sorry because at every argument she threatens to break up.

Another argument was that I told her that I feel under appreciated, we both live far from each other but I still take the time to drive all the way to her house to bring her to work and then I head back to my city to go to work, and then I’ll go pick her up from working during my lunch break and then head back to work. I’ll constantly go bring her to where she needs to be , I’ll constantly be there at her constantly disposal cause that’s my love language. But whenever she’s upset, she’ll say I never do anything for her, and then she told me to remind her of the things I do for her cause she forgets but when I do she answers things such as “if you aren’t happy just don’t do it” or “then just stop” or “I never asked you to” when all I’m asking is some understanding.

But the confusing part is when she’s in a good mood, she’ll tell me how much she loves me and she appreciates what I do for her, but that’s also when she’s in a good mood which is rare. Once she asked me to come over which I did, but when I got to the door she didn’t open it and left me outside. She told me that I came too late, which is not true btw, she told me to come around 4h30 pm which I was there at 4h33 cause I had to pick something up for her on the way. And when I try to explain that to her she sends me a voice message in an angry manner saying “I’m not going to argue with you, I have things to do, go find something to do” and then ignore my messages.

TLDR: I’m trying to understand my girlfriend’s point of view. And if I’m really a horrible boyfriend.

I want to know if I could fix this relationship?

Edit: English isn’t my first language so sorry for any misspelling or other issues

I (21 M) have been dating this girl (22 F) for 2 years and have been struggling in understand my relationship. I feel like my gf only loves me when I have something to offer her or when she needs something from me and she can be extremely heartless at times in my opinion.

For example, she constantly hits me when she’s upset, we argued over something that wasn’t that big of a deal I admit, but during the argument she would hit me if I started asking her if she was being sincere in what she said and if she genuinly felt the way she did. Cause she felt like I was attacking her, and at one point she started hitting me hard so I held her arm back cause it started to hurt. And when I do hold her arms, she’ll resort to harder hits or start pulling my hair and poking my eyes. She also states that she’s scared that I’ll hit her cause I’m a man even though she’s the only one that’s been putting hands on me for 2 years. That being said, she stated that she felt like I was abusing her by doing that saying I don’t know how to control my strength. Then if I don’t apologize, which I always end up doing and she never does, she won’t ever talk to me till I decide to talk back.

I have tried sitting down with her to talk about this behavior of hitting me, and it always turns into an argument about what I did and it’s my fault that she does that. I simply answer that im sorry because at every argument she threatens to break up.

Another argument was that I told her that I feel under appreciated, we both live far from each other but I still take the time to drive all the way to her house to bring her to work and then I head back to my city to go to work, and then I’ll go pick her up from working during my lunch break and then head back to work. I’ll constantly go bring her to where she needs to be , I’ll constantly be there at her constantly disposal cause that’s my love language. But whenever she’s upset, she’ll say I never do anything for her, and then she told me to remind her of the things I do for her cause she forgets but when I do she answers things such as “if you aren’t happy just don’t do it” or “then just stop” or “I never asked you to” when all I’m asking is some understanding.

But the confusing part is when she’s in a good mood, she’ll tell me how much she loves me and she appreciates what I do for her, but that’s also when she’s in a good mood which is rare. Once she asked me to come over which I did, but when I got to the door she didn’t open it and left me outside. She told me that I came too late, which is not true btw, she told me to come around 4h30 pm which I was there at 4h33 cause I had to pick something up for her on the way. And when I try to explain that to her she sends me a voice message in an angry manner saying “I’m not going to argue with you, I have things to do, go find something to do” and then ignore my messages.

TLDR: I’m trying to understand my girlfriend’s point of view. And if I’m really a horrible boyfriend.

My question is , what should I do?

Edit: English isn’t my first language so sorry for any misspelling or other issues