Trying for my 3rd child. first & second pregnancies were planned and I got my first + at 9dpo both times-only 1 living child, third pregnancy was unplanned so tested after missed period, this one we are “trying” but not hard, more hopeful. Is this a shadow or faint positive?
For about 10 years my husband was emotionally abusive (name calling, dismissing my wants, controlled me in many ways). I didn’t leave for years because he wasn’t doing well with fatherhood and I had serious concerns he wouldn’t be able to control himself if he got frustrated or overwhelmed with our young children.
Years 11 & 12-he very slowly started listening to me, stopped the disrespectful talk, stopped controlling me, I had my own life. At this point he lost his job so I was the only income earner. I met a nice man and ended up having an affair. I felt guilty because my husband was finally showing true change but no one had ever treated me with such kindness than the man I met so I continued seeing him.
This year, year 13, he found out about the affair. It had already ended months ago. Again I felt awful because of the change in my husband but the moment he found out about my affair, it was like a light switch turned on and the abuse started all over again- name calling, not letting me leave the room, breaking or taking my phone, sleep deprivation, up to the point he became physical & manually strangled me & spit in my face.
I paid a lawyers retainer & now, he’s got a job, he’s in therapy & stated anxiety & depression medication, he said yes to one of my biggest dreams & said yes to a puppy- something I wanted for years. He’s being kind, he’s meal planning, cooking, cleaning. He’s being so encouraging & great and I’m now so confused.
Do I wait it out & stay? Do I continue leaving? We have a nice life, no stress about finances, we’ve always parented well together, he’s a great dad, he just wasn’t great to me, but now he is…..what the f 😫