Advice needed: AIO for being upset with my partner
For context: My partner (24M) and I (24F) have a 11 month old baby. We live at his mums house and visit my parents on the weekends so we never really get ‘alone time’ or even time for the 3 of us as a family on our own. We are always around other people which can make me miss spending quality time with my bf.
I’m also a SAHM so I look after our baby everyday while he and his goes to work- it feels a bit lonely sometimes.
Not only do I do everything for our baby during the morning and day but I also cover nights too without him ever helping so I get only a few hours of sleep each night. Oh and I’m also expected to do house work like wash the dishes, laundry, hoover and so on for the whole household while they’re at work and I’ll be honest I don’t always do it- sometimes I’m too exhausted but it’s always a problem when I don’t because to them it feels as though I’m not allowed to burn out or feel exhausted.
I can never really bring up any concerns or talk to him about me being upset because we’re never really alone and if we are it’s early in the morning while he’s getting ready for work or night time when he goes to bed and I’m not allowed to talk to him because he’s got work in the morning otherwise I’m a “sleep thief” and “don’t care about his sleep”.
We’ve also had a few problems this year with me feeling a bit neglected within the relationship and not really feeling loved enough. He struggles to show it to me, he can say it but doesn’t do any actions to even show he cares let alone loves me, no dates, no flowers, no compliments unless I initiate him to say something, nada. I mean I get our lives are different since having our baby and that’s draining in itself but does that really mean you just stop showing up for the relationship?
So I suppose I’ve been feeling a little resentful, lonely and overwhelmed by everything.
Fast forward to this week, we’ve come to my parents house for the week or two so that I can start preparing for our almost 1 yr olds birthday party :). I miss staying at home, I don’t feel at home at his mums house really but it’s close to his work- this week he’s been commuting into work which is about an 1hour 45min each way.
Which brings me to last night!
My parents were out for the night to go to a concert together so it was just us and our baby. I thought finally some time we can spend together, man was I wrong.
I had spent the afternoon preparing home made pizzas and making sure dinner was nice. I had music on and was in a good mood. When he came in he assumed my friends were over because of the music so his mood was a bit… hesitant I guess? Idk
The pizzas were still in the oven when he had arrived so he decided to put up the gazebo that had just arrived- he continued to stay outside and do that until I had called him for dinner. Dinner was nice but immediately after he went back out to finish it even though it was already up and was apparently on ft to his mum the whole time while he left me to put the baby to sleep and tidy up the kitchen on my own…
After this I tried talking to him about how I’d appreciate if he was to help me but mid way the baby woke up and he went to get her back to sleep in the middle of me talking. Once I had finished I went upstairs and they were both asleep. So yeah great night…
TL;DR: My bf (24M) doesn’t make an effort to spend time with me, make me feel loved (although he says he does), help me with our baby enough. I (24F) need advice please. 🙏