u/BrigMugi_VV93

It feels so good to relapse. I gave myself some more shallow cuts but I ended up deciding to give myself deeper cuts (ones deep enough that I can see the dermis and, what I think, might be two tiny bubbles of fat seeping through, but I'm not sure). I want to cut deeper, but I know I shouldn't. It's just nice feeling that radiated pain from those two deeper cuts. I wish I was fucking dead. I hate this shit. I hate most people. I hate myself. I hate all of this.

I've been having the urge to cut for a while and end up giving into it after one drink. I'm not even upset about it. I didn't cut deep or anything, though. You know, I plan on just giving up and going completely batshit once I'm finished with school (with graduate or drop-out). My only real goal is to graduate. I have no other aspirations in life. I hate being alive. I hate the fact that my parents were selfish enough to decide to procreate (though I still love them). I hate people who decide to breed because they are too selfish to bother thinking about the shit existence they are bringing their offspring into. I fucking hate being alive. I hate the idea of living a life of coping with shit and for what? It's not like I'm getting shit out of this. Not like any of this matters in the grand scheme of things.

For now, I'm stuck here. I might delete this tomorrow, idk. I might regret cutting as well, idk.