My kids mother and I have been co-parenting for 20 years. There was never a judgement for custody or child support. She never said I couldn't see my kids. I see them every day. I drove them to school everyday and made them dinner every night. She isn't stable, and while in retrospect I should have sued for custody, my kids are crazy about her. She's been on death's door since the day I met her because it gets her out of doing anything she doesn't want to do and occasionally gets her government assistance. Anyway, 8 years ago she moved my kids up to Oregon without asking me. I left a good career to move up here and take care of the kids because she's not very attentive. I lived with them for 5 of the 8 years. She's rarely home and I still make sure my 17 year old gets to school and back and is fed. I work two jobs because she hasn't paid utilities in almost 2 years. Rent is always nerve racking, and any late fees fall to me because of the lease. Anyway, she's suing me for back child support and I heard this is actually a thing in Oregon. So does the burden of proof fall on me now? Is this going to be like a severe audit of the last 15 years? Any time I wasn't living with her I sent money, but there wasn't any obligation so I didn't keep records. What should be my next move here? I'm financially crippled already, she's made sure of that.
u/Borntu
My kids mother and I have been co-parenting for 20 years. There was never a judgement for custody or child support. She never said I couldn't see my kids. I see them every day. I drove them to school everyday and made them dinner every night. She isn't stable, and while in retrospect I should have sued for custody, my kids are crazy about her. She's been on death's door since the day I met her because it gets her out of doing anything she doesn't want to do and occasionally gets her government assistance. Anyway, 8 years ago she moved my kids up to Oregon without asking me. I left a good career to move up here and take care of the kids because she's not very attentive. I lived with them for 5 of the 8 years. She's rarely home and I still make sure my 17 year old gets to school and back and is fed. I work two jobs because she hasn't paid utilities in almost 2 years. Rent is always nerve racking, and any late fees fall to me because of the lease. Anyway, she's suing me for back child support and I heard this is actually a thing in Oregon. So does the burden of proof fall on me now? Is this going to be like a severe audit of the last 15 years? Any time I wasn't living with her I sent money, but there wasn't any obligation so I didn't keep records. What should be my next move here? I'm financially crippled already, she's made sure of that.