u/BornToBeDepressed

Growing up as the least favorite child is such an unpleasant memory for me. My eldest sister was always the favorite child, while me and my little sister felt invisible most of the time. Everyone in the family loved her and gave her attention. They would even give her gifts with her initials engraved on the boxes.

We all shared the same room growing up, but honestly it mostly felt like her room. Her name and initials were everywhere. She had personalized boxes on the dresser and things made specially for her, while me and my other sister got nothing.

I remember crying to my mom once because I wanted something with my name engraved on it too, just like hers, but she never did anything about it. She just didn’t care.

Now we’re all adults, and recently my eldest sister had a party where everyone gave her gifts again, and it brought back so many childhood memories and painful flashbacks I thought I had forgotten.

I genuinely hate my sister. I can’t even stand her. I hate my parents too especially my mom.

Yesterday we had this big family event, and I was actually doing okay at first. I just hated it once it got crowded because I started feeling like I didn't belong there. I was originally sitting in the front with a bunch of people I knew, but for some reason, I got up, and when I came back, someone had just taken my spot. So, I just moved myself further back to sit with my sister’s friend, who was also sitting alone. I tried to make small talk and thanked her for coming, but then it just turned into this awkward silence until my sister finally joined us. Honestly, I felt unwanted. I felt like I was only being included in the conversation because they felt sorry for me, and I just hated being there. On top of that, they kept insisting I dance. I kept refusing because I was way too shy, but they eventually dragged me out anyway. I was so awkward and didn’t know what to do, so I just stood there for 30 minutes clapping and hyping everyone else up. At one point, I had to use the bathroom and ran into an older lady I know. I greeted her and thanked her for coming, and then the silence just got louder while we stood there waiting for a stall to open. I hate being in these situations. I hate feeling like I’m about to cry in front of everyone. I was literally holding back tears the whole time. I just hated being there.