u/Boomtime-Suvarna

Example for me :

Friends used to ask when I am coming , I used to think they are asking because they miss me and hangout with me , later I realized it is to get things on discount.

I visit India frequently like atleast 3 times a year and sometimes friends get hurt or disappointed when they notice that I’m there and didn’t tell them before hand , because they would have requested me something to bring for them.
I keep telling them that I don’t carry anything other than a laptop bag and have no space.

We are from a so called affluent family.

I grew up in a tier 2 town near coastal andhra and the caste discrimination usually wasn’t direct or loud.

It was death by 1000 cuts. When I was in around 9th and people began noticing my caste in my school register , suddenly looks changed , some friends who were nice until then went quiet.

The parent at home is the bigger culprit I believe. They (I’m using “they” for my absolute privacy) sometimes used to add caste name and add some expletive to it and scold me.

And when I didn’t score good marks , this same parent used to scold me with caste name and that I was lazy.

Man it felt pretty lonely , as I wasn’t even good at making friends.

Then I studied +1 In vijayawada and people familiar with the state know that certain crooks from one particular community go around in groups attempting systemic caste based terrorism /propaganda +fear psy ops in other peoples minds.

Mind you , I’m blaming only certain crooks, not the entire community.

These fear based ops + increased exclusion from most other communities plus degrading marks took my life to the bottom.

Took me many years , places to somewhat become normal.

I am hugely thankful to the African American community of New York for inspiring me and being with me in my tough times and helped me somewhat heal.

Few years ago , I used to look back and felt like harming those who discriminated against me.

Today , that feeling has gone down a lot. Instead , I want to be there for children like me , who along with other problems , suffer from this exclusion all their growing up years.

Tomorrow, I might be a commanding officer in space force ,if you happen to come across me /hear about me somehow and found me much less faithful /obligated towards my birth nation , know that it’s because of caste discrimination done to me throughout my life by both people at home and outside.