My boyfriend and I have been going out for about 5 months now. We were friends for over a year before that and around 7-8 months before us meeting as friends he had been dating someone for over 6 years.
Great relationship on paper , the kind of couple that you know will get married , high school sweethearts and what not. Things happened and she cheated on him. They broke it off ofc and he moved on cut to now we’re dating.
It’s a great relationship, he loves me with all that he has. An absolute green forest , makes time for me , notices things about me just the whole package honestly.
A bit about my past experiences , I’ve been in relationships , nothing traumatic but also nothing special.
The first one was all through high school and early college where it was LDR , I think we were more like bestfriends to the point where we never even got to the sexual intimacy part but were still dating.
The next was a tricky one , it was more of a situationship that went on for a bit too long than prescribed , the first one I was truly with including sexually. But I never got my clarity , it was always in the air and I always felt like I had to beg to spend time with him or make plans. So in short my experiences were never that serious or when they were serious they were never reciprocated.
Now for every first I experience with him he has already had hers with her if that makes sense. She cut it off because she moved on to other things in life.
But I for some reason am never able to experience my relationship like it’s not second handed yk?
Like what if he’s thinking about her while doing things with me ? What if when we go to the same places as they went to he misses her ?
He has never made me feel that way but also 7 years is a lot of he does sometimes say , “oh yeah I’ve been here before” and it’s not even a condescending way it’s more about him just telling me that yeah he had been there or done that already.
And I just assume , oh yea ofc AGAIN. We’ve done a lot of new things together.
I’ve addressed this with him and he keeps reassuring me but I also know I can’t keep bringing this up without hampering my relationship.
I really want to work on this because I see a future here and so does he we’ve talked about it. I can’t let this ruin my chance at a great relationship.