u/BlockAccomplished168

I really need outside perspectives because I genuinely cannot process what happened and I feel like I'm losing my mind trying to understand it.

My girlfriend and I were together for 6 months. Long distance, online relationship, but very serious to me. We spent a huge amount of time together daily, gaming, calling, watching videos and movies, talking about the future, all of it. I genuinely believed she loved me and honestly I still do. That's part of why this hurts so badly because this whole thing feels so out of character.

Our relationship honestly felt almost flawless. We never had actual arguments. Not once. We had a few misunderstandings here and there, but they would genuinely get resolved after like a 5 minute conversation because we communicated well with each other. It always felt safe, calm, affectionate, and stable. That's why this sudden complete disappearance feels so unreal to me.

What also makes this harder is that we were BOTH cheated on badly in our previous relationships before we got together. She knew how badly betrayal destroys someone mentally because she went through it herself too.

She also had a really rough past socially. She was betrayed badly by her best friend before I met her, and as far as I know she basically has no real-life friends at all anymore. That's part of why I became so emotionally protective of her and why I took her mental health seriously whenever she talked about struggling emotionally. I genuinely always tried to make her feel safe with me.

About a month before all of this happened, I had a really bad overthinking episode and accused her of cheating during a period where she was very busy for about 2 days straight. She told me she was attending a grand opening for work in another state, and my brain spiraled because her communication felt different during that time.

I regretted accusing her of that because she reassured me seriously and told me she would never cheat on me, and that if she ever lost feelings or wanted someone else, she would at least have the courtesy to break up with me honestly instead of betraying me behind my back.

Then about a week ago it was her birthday. She went out zip lining in the morning with her mom and then to a casino that night and spent the night there. The next morning she told me she got pretty drunk and that was basically all she said about it. The rest of the day honestly felt completely normal. We hung out together like usual, talked normally, everything seemed okay. Nothing felt "off" enough for me to think our relationship was about to collapse literally the next day.

Then the day after the casino night, she suddenly told me she wanted a break from dating because of her mental health. She said she felt like she wasn’t being a good enough girlfriend, that I deserved better, and that she needed to "fix herself a little" before dating. She even mentioned possibly getting medication because she hasn't been doing well mentally lately.

Another detail that's been stuck in my head is that literally the day before she asked for the break, I noticed she had added a guy on Roblox. It made me link it to the situation because of the timing. She only had 2 friends on there at the time: me and him. I asked her about it calmly and she told me she hadn't even played with him once and that she was only buying a limited item off him. I accepted that explanation and didn't argue with her about it.

At first I tried to be understanding because I do know she struggles mentally sometimes, and I genuinely cared more about her wellbeing than “winning” the relationship argument or forcing her to stay. But something about the whole situation felt strange to me emotionally. It didn't feel like a clean breakup conversation. It felt emotional, conflicted, guilty almost.

The conversation itself was actually loving. We both said “I love you.” We told each other to take care of ourselves. I told her I would wait for her to come back because I genuinely believed this was a temporary break and not the end of our relationship.

But a few hours after the conversation ended, I noticed she had unfriended me on Roblox, and kept me everywhere else.

That genuinely made me snap emotionally because it felt completely different from the caring tone of the conversation we had just finished having. I couldn't understand why someone who still loved me and wanted a “break” would suddenly remove me like that right after we had such an emotional conversation.

I got insanely hurt and angry over that specifically, and out of emotion I unfriended her everywhere else too. But I intentionally left TikTok open as a place for her to reach out if she ever wanted to talk again.

I also unfriended her on Discord (our main social we talked on, had 40k messages) after the conversation because I was hurt and confused, but we didn't have mutual friends or mutual servers there, so Discord basically makes it look identical to a full block since messages can't go through either way. Part of me genuinely wonders if she thought I blocked her first and reacted emotionally to that.

Because after that, she blocked me on TikTok too. Then basically everywhere else after that. Completely gone. I tried messaging her on OSU! when I saw her online, but she immediately went offline once I sent the message.

Now I literally have no way to contact her except her email address, and she's ignored my emails for 3 days straight. Full ghosting. Like I don't exist anymore.

She also changed her Roblox username and created an entirely new account on the game where we first met (Transformice). I found out after I saw the last time she was active on her main account was May 7, but on Steam it showed as if she last played on May 9 (she blocked me there too but I could somehow view her profile and recent activity on the browser). That part especially messed me up emotionally because it almost feels like she's trying to erase herself from our memories completely.

And this is what's destroying my brain the most: I genuinely do not think she was fake with me during our relationship. I think she loved me. I think she meant the things she said. Which makes this sudden total disappearance feel even more unreal.

Part of me keeps wondering if something happened on that casino night that she feels guilty about. Maybe cheating, maybe flirting with someone, maybe something she regrets while drunk. I know speculation is dangerous and maybe unfair, but the timing is eating me alive mentally. The sudden switch right after that night, the guilt-like behaviour, the emotional distancing, the blocking, the disappearing, all of it feels strange to me.

At the same time, another part of me wonders if she's avoidant and emotionally overwhelmed rather than guilty. She mentioned a few times that she struggles with emotions, and I saw it clearly when we talked. I couldn't keep emotional conversations with her for long before she'd switch the topic or something. She shuts down under pressure sometimes, and tends to withdraw instead of confront difficult feelings directly. So part of me wonders if this is less about guilt and more about emotional overwhelm, panic, shame, fear of hurting me, or some combination of all of those things.

Part of me genuinely wonders if maybe she did make some kind of mistake and couldn't bring herself to tell me because she didn't want me to experience being cheated on twice. Like maybe in her mind, disappearing and making herself the villain felt less painful than confessing something directly.

The thing is... I would honestly rather hear the truth. I want her to respond to me. I want her to confront me. I want her to tell me the truth even if it's horrible. I feel like I could forgive almost anything at this point because the silence and ghosting hurts worse than the possibility of betrayal itself. And I want her back, despite having been in a relationship of 5 years before meeting her, and I ended up getting cheated on, she meant a lot more than my ex ever did. Because I thought this was going to be my final relationship that's eventually going to turn into marriage.

I don't know anymore.

I just know I still love her deeply and I cannot mentally process how someone can go from loving and affectionate to completely unreachable overnight.

Has anyone dealt with something like this before? Does this sound more like guilt/cheating, avoidant attachment, mental health spiraling, misunderstanding/escalation between both sides, or am I completely overthinking everything because I'm heartbroken?

I also really want her back in any kind of way, I kept sending her friend requests on Roblox since that's the only place I could find her at the time and she's been pretty active there lately. She ignored it like.. x50 times? And ended up changing her username thinking I wouldn't be able to find it but I did and kept trying again anyway. Out of hopelessness

I don't know what to say to her, what to do. I will appreciate help from people not telling me to just forget her and move on please.

Thank you for reading, I know it was really long.

I really need outside perspectives because I genuinely cannot process what happened and I feel like I'm losing my mind trying to understand it.

My girlfriend and I were together for 6 months. Long distance, online relationship, but very serious to me. We spent a huge amount of time together daily, gaming, calling, watching videos and movies, talking about the future, all of it. I genuinely believed she loved me and honestly I still do. That's part of why this hurts so badly because this whole thing feels so out of character.

Our relationship honestly felt almost flawless. We never had actual arguments. Not once. We had a few misunderstandings here and there, but they would genuinely get resolved after like a 5 minute conversation because we communicated well with each other. It always felt safe, calm, affectionate, and stable. That's why this sudden complete disappearance feels so unreal to me.

What also makes this harder is that we were BOTH cheated on badly in our previous relationships before we got together. She knew how badly betrayal destroys someone mentally because she went through it herself too.

She also had a really rough past socially. She was betrayed badly by her best friend before I met her, and as far as I know she basically has no real-life friends at all anymore. That's part of why I became so emotionally protective of her and why I took her mental health seriously whenever she talked about struggling emotionally. I genuinely always tried to make her feel safe with me.

About a month before all of this happened, I had a really bad overthinking episode and accused her of cheating during a period where she was very busy for about 2 days straight. She told me she was attending a grand opening for work in another state, and my brain spiraled because her communication felt different during that time.

I regretted accusing her of that because she reassured me seriously and told me she would never cheat on me, and that if she ever lost feelings or wanted someone else, she would at least have the courtesy to break up with me honestly instead of betraying me behind my back.

Then about a week ago it was her birthday. She went out zip lining in the morning with her mom and then to a casino that night and spent the night there. The next morning she told me she got pretty drunk and that was basically all she said about it. The rest of the day honestly felt completely normal. We hung out together like usual, talked normally, everything seemed okay. Nothing felt "off" enough for me to think our relationship was about to collapse literally the next day.

Then the day after the casino night, she suddenly told me she wanted a break from dating because of her mental health. She said she felt like she wasn’t being a good enough girlfriend, that I deserved better, and that she needed to "fix herself a little" before dating. She even mentioned possibly getting medication because she hasn't been doing well mentally lately.

Another detail that's been stuck in my head is that literally the day before she asked for the break, I noticed she had added a guy on Roblox. It made me link it to the situation because of the timing. She only had 2 friends on there at the time: me and him. I asked her about it calmly and she told me she hadn't even played with him once and that she was only buying a limited item off him. I accepted that explanation and didn't argue with her about it.

At first I tried to be understanding because I do know she struggles mentally sometimes, and I genuinely cared more about her wellbeing than “winning” the relationship argument or forcing her to stay. But something about the whole situation felt strange to me emotionally. It didn't feel like a clean breakup conversation. It felt emotional, conflicted, guilty almost.

The conversation itself was actually loving. We both said “I love you.” We told each other to take care of ourselves. I told her I would wait for her to come back because I genuinely believed this was a temporary break and not the end of our relationship.

But a few hours after the conversation ended, I noticed she had unfriended me on Roblox, and kept me everywhere else.

That genuinely made me snap emotionally because it felt completely different from the caring tone of the conversation we had just finished having. I couldn't understand why someone who still loved me and wanted a “break” would suddenly remove me like that right after we had such an emotional conversation.

I got insanely hurt and angry over that specifically, and out of emotion I unfriended her everywhere else too. But I intentionally left TikTok open as a place for her to reach out if she ever wanted to talk again.

I also unfriended her on Discord (our main social we talked on, had 40k messages) after the conversation because I was hurt and confused, but we didn't have mutual friends or mutual servers there, so Discord basically makes it look identical to a full block since messages can't go through either way. Part of me genuinely wonders if she thought I blocked her first and reacted emotionally to that.

Because after that, she blocked me on TikTok too. Then basically everywhere else after that. Completely gone. I tried messaging her on OSU! when I saw her online, but she immediately went offline once I sent the message.

Now I literally have no way to contact her except her email address, and she's ignored my emails for 3 days straight. Full ghosting. Like I don't exist anymore.

She also changed her Roblox username and created an entirely new account on the game where we first met (Transformice). I found out after I saw the last time she was active on her main account was May 7, but on Steam it showed as if she last played on May 9 (she blocked me there too but I could somehow view her profile and recent activity on the browser). That part especially messed me up emotionally because it almost feels like she's trying to erase herself from our memories completely.

And this is what's destroying my brain the most: I genuinely do not think she was fake with me during our relationship. I think she loved me. I think she meant the things she said. Which makes this sudden total disappearance feel even more unreal.

Part of me keeps wondering if something happened on that casino night that she feels guilty about. Maybe cheating, maybe flirting with someone, maybe something she regrets while drunk. I know speculation is dangerous and maybe unfair, but the timing is eating me alive mentally. The sudden switch right after that night, the guilt-like behaviour, the emotional distancing, the blocking, the disappearing, all of it feels strange to me.

At the same time, another part of me wonders if she's avoidant and emotionally overwhelmed rather than guilty. She mentioned a few times that she struggles with emotions, and I saw it clearly when we talked. I couldn't keep emotional conversations with her for long before she'd switch the topic or something. She shuts down under pressure sometimes, and tends to withdraw instead of confront difficult feelings directly. So part of me wonders if this is less about guilt and more about emotional overwhelm, panic, shame, fear of hurting me, or some combination of all of those things.

Part of me genuinely wonders if maybe she did make some kind of mistake and couldn't bring herself to tell me because she didn't want me to experience being cheated on twice. Like maybe in her mind, disappearing and making herself the villain felt less painful than confessing something directly.

The thing is... I would honestly rather hear the truth. I want her to respond to me. I want her to confront me. I want her to tell me the truth even if it's horrible. I feel like I could forgive almost anything at this point because the silence and ghosting hurts worse than the possibility of betrayal itself. And I want her back, despite having been in a relationship of 5 years before meeting her, and I ended up getting cheated on, she meant a lot more than my ex ever did. Because I thought this was going to be my final relationship that's eventually going to turn into marriage.

I don't know anymore.

I just know I still love her deeply and I cannot mentally process how someone can go from loving and affectionate to completely unreachable overnight.

Has anyone dealt with something like this before? Does this sound more like guilt/cheating, avoidant attachment, mental health spiraling, misunderstanding/escalation between both sides, or am I completely overthinking everything because I'm heartbroken?

I also really want her back in any kind of way, I kept sending her friend requests on Roblox since that's the only place I could find her at the time and she's been pretty active there lately. She ignored it like.. x50 times? And ended up changing her username thinking I wouldn't be able to find it but I did and kept trying again anyway. Out of hopelessness

I don't know what to say to her, what to do. I will appreciate help from people not telling me to just forget her and move on please.

Thank you for reading, I know it was really long.