u/BlacksmithFit8791

I am M32 turkish/german, appereance wise I look like a man who has is life together, self confident and knows what he wants etc. But I have tendencies to be sub, which I am not ashamed of. Everyone has their diff views. This led to differences in my last marriage for 2 years where my ex expected me to be different but how could I tell her about this side of me? Due to the lack of communication and some other reasons it fell apart.

I know I need a spouse with a clear mind and knowing what she wants and not being afraid to take matters into her own hands. Ofc I only have halal conversations in the first phase but I know since this has an impact on the marriage, I have to break the ice sooner or later. I could never tho, thats not me. So as serious and well thought you can be, please give me proper advices. Appreciate it alot and thanks in fwd. Ma'assalam

I was able to get out of home early in the morning throughout the week and dodge some hardship but today is my day off and I am getting hit like a truck by every kind of wave.. It's loud in my head since I woke up..I know what my needs are to shut off and to finally relax but I can't.. How do I get rest? Do I kick myself again out on my free day...I'm tired boss.

Do you sometimes think to yourself - when I will be able to breath again? while you realize you're drowning. Where a certain point is crossed beyond coping dopamine and stimuli and there is nothing but suffocating emptiness? when not even your receptors respond

Coffee, a cigg and 8 hours of work in front of me. Kicking myself out again before I make mistakes - day 3 of trying to escape my foggy mind and urges. I kindly ask you for your duas, today is not an easy one.

Follow up to the morning shift post - I'm done with work hamdulillah and the cycle continues after entering my home. I am really exhausted in my mind for today and tbh really tired because of resisting. I appreciate every kind soul who just wants to pass time and get distracted, as long as your topics are sfw you're welcome whoever you are

I woke up, ofc triggered as usual, drank my coffee and getting ready for work - kicking myself literally out asap before any accident happens. This daily fight against oneself and these urgent measures are really taking a toll my on mental health.
I will have a long day of physical work but still be better off than resting at home, because the actual war will begin again after work when the solitude catches up and the silence becomes loud, no matter how much I exhaust my body with work...I could need some prayers..may Allah ease it for all of us

Full day of exhausting physical work, being nice with everyone, thinking about Deen/Hereafter/Purpose, doing sadaqa where I can - daily routine etc etc, all good outside and a (partially) clear mind; an acceptable muslim.
I've arrived 15mins ago at home (living omo), tired af...but the noises get louder, mind is drifting off and I just want to relax. Need to brake this cycle..Eventhough I exhaust my body to its limit? Either I do have fitter body than I think or I'm really heavily addicted...

I miss hearing the adhan, I miss people having moral values especially speaking for myself, I hate looking at these unhappy greedy faces, I hate living up to the high cultural standarts and being forced in to the hamsterwheel, I hate the summer here in Europe and being forced to see overly se*ualized stuff on every corner, I hate living alone and the endless silence and fighting my demons. I hate this soulles materialistic environment. There is no more local helping community, everyone struggles with their own stuff trying to finish the race of dunya... I yearn for the peace when I look at graves. I don't want to anymore but forcing myself daily through this cycle on spiritual survival mode...

I miss hearing the adhan, I miss people having moral values especially speaking for myself, I hate looking at these unhappy greedy faces, I hate living up to the high cultural standarts and being forced in to the hamsterwheel, I hate the summer here in Europe and being forced to see overly se*ualized stuff on every corner, I hate living alone and the endless silence and fighting my demons. I hate this soulles materialistic environment. There is no more local helping community, everyone struggles with their own stuff trying to finish the race of dunya... I yearn for the peace when I look at graves. I don't want to anymore but forcing myself daily through this cycle...

As the title says..I want to get out of this tiring cycle but its the only emotion in a silent lonely home.
To merry again? After 30+ finding someone who is compatible and has also the same high drive and a little bit of self esteem in her own sexuality is a bit difficult.

I'm just tired..

It's incredible how some men reach out to one on here only to spam p*rn gifs/cutscenes/pictures !after! giving the salaam!

Being addicted is one thing, it's being influenced by the devil La'nat Allah 'alayh; may Allah grant us all freedom from the whisperings inshaAllah.

But!

Being the one who wants to deceive others or even worse is successful to tempt one back from returning victorious back to Allah is the devil himself!

I am a fully grown men, I was married once. I know about my manhood. I had enough with childish plays way back earlier.
I want to enjoy life back as a man and not a boy, therefore I want to quit this. If you decide to stay a boy, so be it. You - Your oozing eyes fixed on a pixelated glass screen and playing with your willie - instead of beginning the adventure of life as a living partnership with your wife or even carry inshaAllah your own children in your arms one day. It's on your own count what you make out of it. If you end up a man with a loving and beloved spouse or if you enter marriage as a boy and stay a boy.

But!

Don't follow this path of filth so deep that you end up playing an advocat of the devil himself. Even if you sin and sin and sin and sin and sin again, just keep in your mind "I have to turn back to Allah, it is the only option" - keep it at a place which is untouched, above and infront of everything. Then keep sinning, because it's part of being a noqsan created being - perfection belongs to Allah - so we turn once more back to him. That's sinning and biiznillah it will be forgiven or outnumbered by our sadaqas -

But!
If you play the advocat of the devil you walk a very very very thin line towards the wraith of Allah. Be careful and don't ever say I was not warned before.

Ma'assalam

I'm a turkish guy 31M from Germany and this addiction seems unbeatable for me.
I am divorced since 4 years and was married for ~5 years. We had unexpected problems in the bedroom and while she tried her best to fulfill my desires and needs we still drifted apart over the time due to being not fitting for each other.
Since I'm muslim I try to engage only in healthy relationships in halal boundaries but I am human and have my needs. I work with lots of people and have flirtatious encounters on a daily basis and I come back home daily to release the tension - which I am really tired of.
I slipped for a too long time into sexting/sharing nudes and all that stuff but got clean with a lot of willpower.
I could do anything if I wanted; I live on my own, have my life going on and I know how to approach but I can't even I see the invitation - since I'm muslim.
Porn/Gooning/Edging has gotten the better of me and my foggy brain is just crumbling at this point. Anyone who I can talk to? Around my age/experiences is pref.

Age & Gender:
31M
Height:
5'8
Location:
Germany (born here, raised in Turkey/came back here)
Ethnicity/Nationality:
Turkish

Education & Career:
Working 2 jobs and studying BoA islamic science

Religious Practice:
Sunni Muslim
Prays 5 times a day
Tries to follow Islam sincerely (but I am currently struggling to stay focused)

Personality:
Calm, introverted but still very socially active, like to read, serious about building a meaningful life, joyful, values respect and kindness and family oriented, A bit reserved at first, but open up with the right person

Hobbies & Interests:
Coffee, Books & Plants

Family:
Well-educated family
Have siblings

Marriage Goals:
Not restricted to any nationality/culture
Want to build a peaceful, supportive, and respectful partnership

What I’m Looking For:
Age: 24–31
Practicing Muslima (prays regularly)
Kind, respectful, and emotionally mature, joyful/playful
Ambitious and responsible

Dealbreakers:
Dishonesty | Laziness | Anger issues | Low Libido in long term

Kids:
Yes, but after 2~years

If interested, feel free to reach out, can provide picture after sympathy

I'm in my early 30's, was married for ~5 years and had in my unknowing youth plenty haram relationships.

Throughout the day I work, study, go out with friends, groceries and chores, do sadaqa as best possible as I can etc. Nothing special on the outside, fully functioning and more or less a standart muslim. But the turth is I am deeply "corrupted?" on the inside; I can't but think constantly about sex or usually my eyes slip off to check out, sometimes exchange flirtatious gazes etc. My mind is no place of rest.

My question is - does this "corruption?" come from corn or

Is it normal for my age and my hormones/biology is intact? or

Am I HyperSexual?

I am lost somewhere in the midst of my brain fog and the floods of thoughts and fantasies. I try to quit but it's gotten worse and worse. I dodge the invitations or my temptations but getting home asap, but as soon as I am the other test begins and I have to fight myself and my urges daily/on a hourly basis.

As the title says, I'm at a point where it's nothing but exhausting. The brain fog, the addiction that keeps pulling one back and the natural hormones coming with spring/summer.
Here in Germany things get wild pretty quickly when the temperatures get decent - and in May I know I will be avoiding the main city place.
As a divorced guy who lives on his own this addiction seems unbeatable until I marry again I guess...Dodge, flirts from other girls, dodge at work, dodge the urge to walk up and speak...it's just perma suppressing the need..I'm tired of taking daily ghusl and just keep falling back the next day