Im always too hard on myself and I always fear like im out of time to achieve anything
Im a perfectionist and a procrastinator at the same time
when i dont see progress right away i give up, and that goes against my growth as a person
i want to become a good teacher, explore, be healthy, improve myself, but i run away from actual hardship that helps one grow
for example, i gave up weightlifting after 5 weeks because the progress slowed down, now i regret it and wanna get back to it, and i gotta keep remembering that visible progress in weightlifting is usually after 1 year…so yeahhh…thinking ill get ripped in 5 weeks is unrealistic, but its hard to stay consistent
another example, my academic life, from an A+ student in high school to barely passing my class in university 😭
and i feel so bad but tired at the same time, and i dont know how to learn how to love studying, because i realised, that in all my life, i studied for grades and not for the love of knowledge, i had a bit of spark in me and i also liked what i learned, but it wasnt my main motivation, and now, in university, getting 100% grades is pretty much impossible for me, and my motivation is very low :(
i want to read more books, fix my attention span, and learn practical stuff like cooking, travelling alone, finance, etc…
but i cant get myself to do the baby steps, and im trying to be more patient and gentle with myself but its hard
how do i learn that goals dont get achieved right away and actually accept the time it takes to grow?