u/Birdwurs

I’m 18 and graduating high school in a few weeks and I can’t see any point or reason for why life is enjoyable for people. I don’t have many friends other than a couple people I talk to online occasionally, and even then I spend almost all day alone which I honestly prefer anyways. I guess i’m going to college after this, not cause I want to or anything, I just need money to live and can’t see myself doing any kind of job that requires a lot of social interaction so this is really my only option. After I graduate from that I’ll probably just live by myself for a few years and then kill myself, I’m not sad but I’m not especially happy either, life is just meh, why would I want to live in a meh world for 80 years?

I’ve missed out on a lot of things people my age have done or do frequently. I’ve never gone to any dances or events, had a girlfriend or had sex, none of which I have desire for. I don’t have any big goals or motivations for the future, I like video games and anime but that’s just about it, I’m not trying to be negative but I’m kind of just a loser. I’ve never been diagnosed with anything and I don’t think I will ever try either, I don’t like having to open up in front of someone, makes me feel like I’m being seen for who I am and I hate that. Anyone else just wish they could be invisible to the world?

Long ass rant, my bad, I just wanted to talk about how I feel.

I’ve been listening to metal since around august of last year, and currently I just love death metal. It’s basically all I listen to. I don’t just want to listen to only one metal genre though. I want to appreciate the other genres more, like heavy metal, thrash, glam, black, doom, etc. But i’m not exactly sure where to start, i’ve tried getting into black metal but it’s not especially my thing, I did like some first-wave bands though like celtic frost and venom.

TLDR: I just want bands from various genres, don’t care which, just give them to me.