Not sure which flair to use for this. I’m (F) turning 23 this year and after a lot of self reflection I realised I’ve been sexually assaulted more than once, most of them were obvious but I was just in denial about it and made myself believe that’s what I wanted even when I knew deep down I didn’t. Growing up there was an older boy who I used to hang out with (I didn’t want to but he was a family friend so when his mom came over for coffee she brought him with) It doesn’t count as sa but more harassment I guess? I was around 7 when he (around 12 or 13) would want to see my underwear, he did touch me once which counts as sa I think, he moved away so it stopped before it could get any worse. When I was 16 it happened more then once by two different guys, the first one I was dating, I was very drunk and he decided to put his hand in my pants without my consent, he did this to another girl not long after we broke up, that same year I was very drunk again and a guy who I just started seeing did basically the same thing to me (obviously I thought that was my fault because I was drunk). The last and most recent happened when I was 18, I was making out with a guy I was seeing, he kept trying to get his hand in my pants but I kept trying to stop him, he kinda overpowered me and I just froze and let it happen he sexually assaulted me orally, I’m thankful it didn’t go any further but I still felt so dirty. Now at almost 23 I’ve read other people’s stories and realised what happened to me was sexual assault, to be honest I don’t really know what to do with this information, I have a really weird relationship towards anything sexual and I fear that if I get into a relationship that might get in the way. I didn’t know where else to share this but I’m glad I can finally get this off my chest, I have no one to talk to this about.
u/Bildad-the-shuhite
I've manifested things a few times but very chaotically, I need help manifesting a sp, I really want to do this the right way, we haven't talked in 2 weeks and I really don't know how to go about this, I really need some help <3
I've manifested things a few times but very chaotically, I need help manifesting a sp, I really want to do this the right way, we haven't talked in 2 weeks and I really don't know how to go about this, I really need some help <3
I’ve manifested things a few times but very chaotically, I need help manifesting a sp, I really want to do this the right way, we haven’t talked in 2 weeks and I really don’t know how to go about this, I really need some help <3
a few years ago I was seeing a guy, we weren't fully a couple, we just hang out and kissed a few times (I was totally fine with the kissing) one night we went out for dinner and afterwards we went back to his apartment to watch a movie. We cuddled which was innocent, then we started kissing and I was okay with that, he proceeded to try and put his hand in my pants but I stopped him but he tried it a few times more. I just let him remove my pants, I didn't want him to but I didn't fight either, I just kind of froze, that is why it doesn't feel valid. I don't know how to explain this without it being graphic I guess but he didn't take off his pants so there was no p involved but I still feel like it was lowkey my fault and somehow it's not sa but I'm not sure. I just felt so dirty and disgusting afterwards...
So a few years ago I was seeing a guy, we weren’t fully a couple, we just hang out and kissed a few times (I was totally fine with the kissing) one night we went out for dinner and afterwards we went back to his apartment to watch a movie. We cuddled which was innocent, then we started kissing and I was okay with that, he proceeded to try and put his hand in my pants but I stopped him but he tried it a few times more. I just let him remove my pants, I didn’t want him to but I didn’t fight, that is why it doesn’t feel valid. I don’t know how to explain this without it being graphic I guess but he didn’t take off his pants so there was no p involved but I still feel like it was lowkey my fault and somehow it’s not sa but I’m not sure 😔 I just felt so dirty and disgusting after I got home…