Caught my M and S Talking bad about me
I was in a team meeting where my manager was sharing their screen, and during the presentation, Microsoft Teams messages became visible. I noticed conversations between team members that appeared to include complaints about me and comments describing me as “weird.” Seeing that was honestly very upsetting. I did not address it in the moment, and I’m not even sure whether anyone else noticed it.
What makes this difficult for me to process is that my performance reviews since joining the team have consistently been very strong. I have never personally felt attacked or viewed myself as a liability. I have always completed my work thoroughly and with a high level of quality, which has consistently been reflected in the feedback I’ve received from leadership.
At the same time, I have noticed that the communication style among leadership, analysts, and consultants seems very different from the way people communicate with me. Interactions with others often appear more relaxed and personable, whereas conversations with me tend to remain strictly work-related. Sometimes it makes me feel excluded or as though I am not fully part of the group dynamic, even though I would genuinely like to feel more included.
I also recognize that part of the issue may be my own lack of confidence in my work and communication abilities. I am not sure whether this stems from cultural differences, personality differences, or something else entirely, but there are times when I become hesitant to speak up or ask questions because I worry leadership may think I should already know the answer. I know I am not perfect, and I have openly shared before that, as a first-generation professional, I sometimes feel different from others in the corporate environment. Even after four years, I still feel like I am trying to fully adjust and find my place.
What advice would you give in a situation like this? I know dwelling on it is not productive, but it has been weighing on me for quite some time. I’m not looking to quit. I’m not here to vent. I’m here to learn how to be likable within this industry because I know those connections are going to matter.