u/BigCelebration1664

I am in my late twenties, and lately I’ve been feeling very emotionally confused about marriage.

Over the last few years, my family has received some genuinely good proposals. Alhamdulillah, educated and decent families, doctors, PhDs, people working abroad etc. But we never really moved forward seriously with them because financially we are not in a good place right now.

We are dealing with debt, most of our money goes into basic living and studies, and honestly sometimes it feels like we don’t even have enough savings for a very simple nikah without borrowing money. I’m the eldest daughter, doing my PhD, and I still have younger brothers studying too.

The thing is, my mother has become very stressed about all this over the years. Relatives constantly remind her that girls my age are already married with kids, and I can see how much pressure she feels. My father, on the other hand, doesn’t really seem interested in discussing my marriage much, and I think somewhere finances are a big reason behind that too.

My mother now feels we should only look for very simple middle-class families “like us” because she worries there’s a lifestyle/class difference with the proposals coming. And honestly, I understand her fear. We used to live much more comfortably before, but the last few years have been financially difficult, and it changes how you see yourself.

What hurts me more is that I can’t really support my parents financially right now either. My PhD does provide a small fellowship, but it’s only enough for my own basic expenses, so despite studying so much and trying so hard, I still feel helpless sometimes.

Sometimes I feel guilty even thinking about marriage because I don’t want my family to go through more financial pressure because of me. At the same time, I’m also human. Sometimes I do want companionship, a home, a future like everyone around me.

But now marriage doesn’t even feel exciting anymore. It feels tied to guilt, money, family stress, and fear.

I worked so hard academically because I wanted to make my parents happy and make life easier for them. But this is one thing that doesn’t feel in my control, and that scares me. I’m afraid that by the time marriage actually happens for me, I’ll feel emotionally numb towards it.

I don’t even know if we’re doing the right thing by quietly stepping back from proposals because of finances and insecurity.

Please make dua for us. And if anyone has gone through something similar, I’d really appreciate some advice.

Need Samsung phone suggestions under 25k with compact size like S23

Need Samsung phone suggestions under 25k with compact size like S23