u/Big-Swimmer4100

Hi all, for clarification I'm not looking for medical advice, just general advice on what you'd do in this situation.

I recently went through a rough mixed or hypomanic state that escalated (agitation, starting fights, quitting job, lack of sleep) and led to me getting sent to a psychiatrist who was unsure whether I fall under bipolar 2 or cyclothymia but decided on the latter. I'm slowly coming out of it and seeing the horrendous aftermath of my own destructive actions is crushing me.

I was prescribed sodium valproate but after reading about other people's bad experiences with this drug as well as potential complications and side effects, I am very reluctant to take it, or would at least like to speak to my endocrinologist first. My body is overly sensitive to meds and I've had horrible side effects from everything I've tried from anxiety meds to antipsychotic+antidepressants. I really don't feel like playing a lab rat and testing a thousand things to find one that works. On top of that I'm living alone and going through a job change and I really don't want to add something with unknown effects into the mix and potentially make things worse or not being able to handle it if I feel too sick.

I feel like speaking to someone couldve prevented this but I swept it under the rug and now regret it deeply. I realized I have absolutely ZERO skills to cope with situations like this and act solely on impulses which is obviously not good. I'm also not coping well with this realization. I've already rescheduled my therapy session for an earlier day. I'm wondering if sticking only to therapy for now until I fix the job issue is a good or a bad idea. Or whether I should go back to the psychiatrist and ask for a different prescription or go to a different doctor, I don't know. What results could I realistically expect from therapy? Any input is welcome and thank you so much if you read this far, it's really appreciated.

Sorry if this is chaotic I started writing last night after work but that made it worse I had a panic attack which I hadn't had in a while and cried until I fell asleep. Yesterday's stress feels like a hangover, everything hit me 2 seconds after I woke up and ever since then I've been chain smoking completely zoned out.

My job is implementing high level security measures (locking away electronics, metal detectors, security guards) I'm freaking out they'll find my post and punish me as I type this but as soon as I heard the news it triggered such a horrible OCD spiral that I immediately resigned with no new job lined up. This is a regular office job that lots of other people do from home.

One of my biggest themes is that I somehow committed a crime that I'm unaware of. The The thought of being treated like a potential criminal, constant surveillance, unable to take an emergency call, having a medical emergency in the office and not reacting quick enough, getting stuck in the elevator/bathroom with no way to call for help, potential health issues from being constantly scanned, it further sent me into the whole "I'm upset because I'm a criminal, I'm hiding something, I'm planning to commit a crime without knowing". When I handed the resignation letter I thought they'd think I do it because I was originally planning to commit a crime but now wouldn't be able to with the new measures.

I know I'm not entitled to any support from others but it feels like my whole world fell apart and everyone around me was like "it's not that bad" I'm starting to question my own thoughts and feelings and nothing calms me down. All I needed was a friend but I have to deal with it all on my own. I don't know how to get through the next few days until therapy. I liked my job why did this have to happen it feels like 1984 but no one else sees is this way I can't trust my own judgment anymore. I was finally making some progress with ERP and this sent me back to square one

Hi all, Im sorry if this is a stupid question but I was wondering if it's possible for another mental health disorder (in general) to amplify OCD, or for OCD to amplify the other disorder or if I'm just trying to make up a connection where there isn't one. Have you experienced something like this or do you have any resources on the topic that I could read up on?

What got me wondering: I was recently diagnosed with OCD so I still have a lot to learn about it despite struggling with it for years. My therapist also suspects Bipolar II and I'm currently in the process of getting that confirmed or denied by a psychiatrist. I noticed the following: during my low moods, my usual harm OCD/ROCD etc. themes are much worse but tend to subside during my high moods. However, the sexual OCD themes and overall paranoid thoughts get worse during that time. It's kind of like my OCD themes cycle along with my moods but never disappear completely. I see a connection between the two but I'm not sure if I'm just making that up.

I'll definitely bring this up in therapy but until then I wanna hear other people's thoughts too and possibly educate myself a little better.

Any input is welcome and thanks in advance if you took the time to reply!