u/Big-Rush-4630

All her nuance in season 1 is gone. Rue described Cassie as “sweet” but someone who seeked validation and felt she only received through sleeping around. Not to gain the infamy she has now, but to feel loved and not abandoned.

I feel like Cassie season 1 would be too mortified to do anything season 3 Cassie is doing. I know people change but she doesn’t feel like the same person at all… she was still embarrassed to be seen as a sexual deviant (like what happened on the Ferris wheel) or be known as someone that is *only* good for sex.

She also didn’t seem totally air headed either. She had passions as figure skating.

It seems Sam Levison created a masterpiece in season 1, but has now seen all the discourse around Sydney Sweeney and is playing into it too hard.

None of the characters right now seem “flawed but nuanced”, literally all of them seem so two dimensional with no redeeming qualities. Except for Rue and *maybe* Lexi (although she’s barely in this season).

I want to do a destination bachelor/bachelorette party. Originally we wanted a destination wedding at in Ireland and it’s still something we’re considering but the costs might be too high. So we’re considering a destination party instead.

A lot of the groomsmen and some of my bridesmaid really want this to happen. But I definitely think some will not be able to afford it.

I won’t be upset at all if there’s people at my wedding party can’t attend, because I understand it’s a hassle to make costs + taking time off happen.

But I’m wondering if this idea is inherently selfish. Because I think those who can’t come to the bachelorette/bachelor party may feel sad they can’t show up but they are understanding friends. But also I don’t have expectations that *should* show up, I mainly care about people attendance on my wedding day lol.

Sorry idk if I’m over thinking, I want everyone happy healthy comfy

Edit: I also wanna add I’m Indian and we don’t usually have bachelorette or bachelor parties but my finance is white so I’m doing this for him - and also culturally we have other pre wedding events people can choose to be involved in!

I’m second-guessing my MOH choice and could use outside perspective.

I chose my MOH about 2 years ago, it wasn’t formally picked but casually mentioned bc we are besties, and she always assumed she would be the MOH. This was before I was officially engaged. Now that I’m actually planning, I’m noticing patterns that are making me pause.

I have two childhood best friends:

- Friend A: incredibly kind, emotionally steady, but less experienced with logistics
- Friend B (current MOH): organized, reliable, cried when I asked her and was genuinely so happy

At the time, I chose Friend B for practicality. But over time, I’ve realized there’s a recurring dynamic in our friendship that’s starting to worry me.

It’s a pattern I’m noticing

- When something bothers her, she often doesn’t communicate directly. Instead, she becomes distant or cold, and I’m left trying to figure out what’s wrong. Even when I ask, I don’t always get a clear answer in the moment.

- Small issues don’t stay small, they tend to turn into heavy or drawn-out conversations instead of quick clarifications. I don’t mind talking things through, but it makes everyday interactions feel tense.

- Her communication is inconsistent, especially when planning. Casual texting is one thing, but she’ll sometimes leave me on read for days or weeks when we’re actively trying to make plans.

- Because of this, I often feel like I have to manage the emotions of the friendship or be “on alert” for when something might be wrong.

To be fair, she also has a lot of great qualities:
- extremely loyal
- shows up for important moments
- supportive and hypes me up
- genuinely cares about me

So this isn’t about her being a bad friend but about whether this specific dynamic is a good fit for a MOH role, which is high communication and coordination.

I’m okay with people needing space or not replying quickly sometimes — what’s hard is when that happens during planning or without any communication, and I’m left unsure how to proceed.

My concern:
I’m worried that during wedding planning, this pattern (indirect communication, withdrawal, inconsistency) could make things more stressful.

I’m considering:
- making Friend A my MOH and guiding her on logistics
- keeping Friend B as a bridesmaid (or co-MOH)

But I’m also worried about hurting Friend B, especially since she was so emotional and happy when I chose her.

I guess my question is: could she still be a MOH? Should I make her my MOH? Would it damage the friendship if she’s a bridesmaid?

I’m second-guessing my MOH choice and could use outside perspective. FYI when I “picked” her to be my MOH, this was 2 years ago when my bf was discussing getting married, and now I’m engaged but we haven’t started wedding planning yet.

I have two childhood best friends. Both love me deeply and have shown up for me in big ways, so this wasn’t an easy decision.

- Friend A: longest friendship, incredibly kind and comforting. Downside is she doesn’t drive and slightly struggles with logistics, so I worried MOH responsibilities might overwhelm her.

- Friend B: more organized, so I chose her. When I asked, she cried and was so happy.

But now I’m having doubts because of ongoing patterns in my friendship with Friend B:

- Passive-aggressive -
When we lived together, if something bothered her, she’d go cold for days instead of saying anything.
Example: she bought drinking glasses for the apartment that I mentioned I’d buy (I treated it as a low priority item since we a bazillion mugs) but she went ahead and bought the glasses the next day, then acted distant for days and I couldn’t tell what’s wrong, even when I asked. Later admitted she felt taken advantage of but acknowledged she shouldn’t had been so cold.

- Instead of quick communication, things become long, intense talks.
Example: when we were travelling, I wanted to take pictures of us together and she isn’t comfortable doing that. It turned into a 20-minute serious convo about not wanting to take photos on a trip, rather than just saying “hey I’m not into pics.” And that was one thing, but imagine every smaller issue (using the bathroom before her in the morning) had a confrontation.

- she has inconsistent energy.
Sometimes she’s warm and engaged, other times distant.
Right now: she asked to hang out, I replied, and she’s read my messages but hasn’t responded in 3 weeks. And she usually takes days to respond :/ but sometimes she’s very responsive.

- she is emotionally hard to read
When we lived together, she’d sometimes not speak to me for days, acting very cold, no eye contact or acknowledgement in shared living spaces. then come back and say she just needed space due to stress. I understand needing space, but zero communication is tough :/. Tbf this is rare but happened maybe a few times?

Because of this, I often feel like I’m walking on eggshells or managing her emotions.

At the same time, she’s also:
- extremely loyal
- never talks badly about me
- hypes me up and supports me publicly
- always shows up for big moments
- I know she’s reliable and hates messing things up

I tried to brush the issues off as “living together/travel stress,” but now I’m not so sure after she just hasn’t responded in weeks to me but I see her online on social media :/ and friend A had experienced similar things when they traveled. So I’m thinking I’d make friend A MOH, and maybe guide her in some things.

But I’m also thinking… should I also keep friend B a maid of honour alongside friend A or make her a bridesmaid? Would it damage the friendship? Despite all the issues, she is important to me but I feel less tolerant of her behaviour recently..