u/Big-Character413

pass ho gayiii bc

I met a guy on Instagram in 2020 and later found out he was from my school. We became really close friends, and eventually he became my first love, first male best friend, and honestly the first person I ever opened up to this deeply.

In 2022, he proposed to me twice. I rejected him the first time because I was scared of getting hurt, but I already liked him more than a friend. The second time, I said yes.

At first everything felt perfect, but slowly I started feeling like I was never really a priority. He would spend all his time with his friends and only come to me late at night. I ignored it because I thought maybe I was being too needy.

There was also a girl involved who was connected to his friend group. He used to tell me to sleep and then stay up talking to them behind my back. We fought about it multiple times, but I always forgave him.

Then things got worse. He started asking me for nudes constantly. If I refused, he would stop talking to me for days or even a week until I gave in. I was so emotionally attached to him that I kept trying to save the relationship by doing whatever he wanted.

One day I broke down crying because of it and told his best friend everything. His best friend told me to self-harm on my private areas and send him the pictures so he would “feel bad.” I was so emotionally messed up and attached that I actually did it. Looking back, I genuinely cannot believe I let myself get treated that way.

Later, I found flirty chats with another girl from his class on his Instagram account at 3 AM. I cried so badly that I ended up getting admitted the next day. When I confronted him, he blamed it on his friend and said he didn’t send the messages himself. I believed him because I loved him too much.

But after that, I feel like something permanently changed inside me. I think all of this gave me trauma.

Recently, his friends came over and he ignored me the entire night. When I confronted him, he said his friends make fun of guys who talk to their girlfriends too much and he didn’t want them making fun of our relationship too. The next morning he acted normal again and called me “baby” like nothing happened.

That was my breaking point.

I told him, “If you can’t take a stand for me now, then when will you ever take one?” and I blocked him.

Now I feel heartbroken, emotionally exhausted, and confused because I still love him, but I also know this relationship hurt me deeply. I don’t know if I overreacted or if I finally chose myself for the first time.