The unhealthy way I process rejection
I (M53) have noticed a troubling pattern about the way I process rejection.
In the past 9 years I’ve been on 2 dates. Both dates were fun and I would’ve been interested in a second date but that didn’t materialize. What bothers me is the way I unconsciously cope with the rejection.
If a woman says it’s not a match or she doesn’t feel a connection, I politely thank them for their time, say good luck and then seemingly go into a multi year dating hiatus.
I went out on a date with a woman in 2022 and she told me it was not a connection and I haven’t looked at the apps since. It’s not that I’m heartbroken over any particular woman. It’s just that when something like that happens to me the rejection feels enormous, personal, and specific and I feel like I need months and in some cases years to recover the confidence to ask someone out again.
I’m conventionally attractive and there’s lots of women that I would like to ask out but I’m afraid that if they simply say no that it’ll be another half a decade before I try again and that frightens me.
I’ve spent some time in the last week, reaching out to therapist that specialize in helping men with these types of issues. This came to light when I started microdosing about a month ago.
Probably sounds like I’m rambling and I kind of am because this is an early morning brain dump but let me know how you process rejection and if you’ve ever had these types of troubles with it, men or women I’m all ears.