u/Beginning-Leopard-39

My biggest ones are revolved around finances, like starting a business together, getting a house, bankrolling dates, vacations, housing, etc. Mostly not intertwining our lives to where it would be difficult to have a clean break. Having a child together is another great example.

The "more petty" examples are personal things that test my patience. I have infinitely more patience for my spouse because they've at least demonstrated a capacity for change when I express concern/annoyance.

Periods of lesser communication. Being left "on read" doesn't bother me when I'm coming home to them later and we're aware of our schedules.

Curious to see what your boundaries are!

Edit-

However you want to interpret a committed long term relationship over something less committed. The terminology is creating quite a stir from both sides, tbh, and I'm not trying to invalidate anyone's preferred way of commitment.

I'm much more interested in how people navigate a relationship where they are "all in."

You get the dreaded call from your AP and actually have enough mental capacity to answer this time. They're calling to ask you for a favor or update you on whatever issues they're experiencing at the time and by extension, making it your problem.

It typically has nothing to do with you, but now you're involved. They express little to no gratitude for the intrusion, then end the call by accusing you of never calling them.

Is this relatable to anyone else? The lack of curiosity as to why your relationship isn't close to them like cousin XYZ to their parent? I've never heard them actually acknowledge the strain in the relationship, but rather, just a demand of loyalty/obedience. Never once tried to repair from their end.

I've tried twice to bring up reasons why I don't call them, "It's not pleasant talking to you because you never have anything nice or kind to say." "You also don't reach out unless you need something from me." My mom doesn't try to understand me anymore, because her feelings of shame are too big to manage. She at least partially holds herself responsible by saying she married and had children with "bad husbands", but still also holds the majority of the blame on me. My mom victimizes herself because she feels abandoned by her children, but she abandoned us first. My dad just DARVOs and gets angry.

Looking for something more organized than a Jazz night to go to tonight. Bonus if there's good food and drinks.